January 19, 2023
Thoughts on: Murder Ballad, Off-Broadwayby Randi / August 28, 2013
The Barrow Street Theatre’s production of Buyer & Cellar, starring the adorable and talented Michael Urie, honestly had me laughing harder than I did at The Book of Mormon (possibly (definitely) because I already had the BoM score memorized by the time I saw it so I knew all the jokes, but whatever). What a wonderful, low-key gem of a show, with a most impressive star.
I knew beforehand that the show was about a man working as the sole employee in Barbra Streisand’s basement mall, underneath her much-publicized Malibu mansion. Yes, that part is true – BS wrote a design book a few years back chronicling the building of her dream house, which does indeed have a shopping mall in the basement, holding all of BS’s memorabilia in various shoppes. (We know they are ‘shoppes’ and not ‘shops’ because Urie’s character adorably pronounces them ‘shopp-ees’ and jokes that one of the ‘shopp-ees’ is probably a purveyor of excess p’s and e’s.)
What I didn’t know was that this simple, cute concept could be taken to such entertaining heights in this pleasant little show.
I knew beforehand that the show was about a man working as the sole employee in Barbra Streisand’s basement mall, underneath her much-publicized Malibu mansion. Yes, that part is true – BS wrote a design book a few years back chronicling the building of her dream house, which does indeed have a shopping mall in the basement, holding all of BS’s memorabilia in various shoppes. (We know they are ‘shoppes’ and not ‘shops’ because Urie’s character adorably pronounces them ‘shopp-ees’ and jokes that one of the ‘shopp-ees’ is probably a purveyor of excess p’s and e’s.)
What I didn’t know was that this simple, cute concept could be taken to such entertaining heights in this pleasant little show.
Buyer & Cellar is the fictional tale of the employee tasked to work long days in this basement mall/shrine. The character, Alex, waits and waits for his one potential customer – of course, Babs herself – whose only potential purchases are, of course, her own possessions. This premise works because the most ridiculous aspect of the whole thing – that Barbra would have a private basement mall housing all of her memorabilia – is actually the true part! The rest kind of fills itself in naturally: If the mall already exists, why wouldn’t someone work down there? Why wouldn’t a woman who is enough of a character to build this thing and write a book about it also hire someone to treat her like any strange customer in any regular mall and try to sell her things?
Jonathan Tolins’ laugh-out-loud script could probably stand on its own with any number of talented actors in the one-man role, but Michael Urie clearly was born to knock it out of the park. As Alex More, Urie projects a sincere warmth and goodness through his often snarky reminiscences of his encounters with his diva employer. I liked Urie fine on Ugly Betty, recognizing his comedic talents as one must when you watch him, but I wasn’t a huge fan. (Maybe because he was so mean to Betty! And to that boyfriend I liked! The really nice but shlubby one! I loved him.) Aaanyway, that character might have colored my perception of Urie, but man alive if I don’t love him now.
In an endearing preface, Urie as himself discusses Barbra’s actual 2010 design book with the audience to familiarize us. The facts about the book are hilarious. Barbra’s writing, for instance, assumes that the reader knows that Winterthur, the inspiration for the basement mall, is a decorative arts and antiques museum in Delaware. Sure sure.
Urie also explains that he doesn’t do an impersonation of Barbra when he acts out her side of dialogue. However, the little aspects of Barbra’s demeanor that he does evoke are so effective that by the middle you are sold on this choice. The slumped shoulders, the seemingly endless and loose fingers, it works.
One-person shows require truly great writing and acting to succeed at all. Often the most telling test for a show that features encounters between various characters is when the audience forgets that all of these characters are only played by one person. Buyer & Cellar absolutely passes this test: Urie really made me feel the presence of several people up on that tiny stage. At times, I was seized with concern for Barbra, wanting to yell to her that Alex probably meant to say more or less or that she could eat as much froyo as she wanted. And then I’d realize, not only is this fiction, but there is no actress up there even playing Barbra. Equally compelling were Alex’s memories of encounters with his boyfriend Barry, who in the beginning was more excited about Alex’s job working for perhaps the greatest gay icon, but as time progressed turned quickly against Babs, partly from the jealousy of Alex’s developing a relationship that he could have no part of, partly from that omnipresent glee we plebeians derive from hating on celebrities whose privilege we mock with derision yet of course envy. (I think 80% of all internet comments exemplify the latter.) That Alex, Barry, Barbra, Babs’s chief of staff, James Brolin hilariously, and even a French bubble-blowing automaton named Fifi all seemed to share the stage equally and fully is a testament to Urie’s talents.
The audience, clearly full of Barbra fans, was completely won over. The show mocks Barbra while somehow remaining kindhearted. It vilifies her well-known insecurities as superficial interview fodder yet conveys her vulnerability. And still it remains a light, delicious, and hilarious hour and a half that I whole-heartedly recommend experiencing. The producers recently, wisely, decided to extend its limited run indefinitely. My only regret was not waiting afterward to get a pictures with Urie, but I feared in my newfound fangirl state I would start “shopping for throw pillows” on him as Barbra once did. You just must see it!
Jonathan Tolins’ laugh-out-loud script could probably stand on its own with any number of talented actors in the one-man role, but Michael Urie clearly was born to knock it out of the park. As Alex More, Urie projects a sincere warmth and goodness through his often snarky reminiscences of his encounters with his diva employer. I liked Urie fine on Ugly Betty, recognizing his comedic talents as one must when you watch him, but I wasn’t a huge fan. (Maybe because he was so mean to Betty! And to that boyfriend I liked! The really nice but shlubby one! I loved him.) Aaanyway, that character might have colored my perception of Urie, but man alive if I don’t love him now.
In an endearing preface, Urie as himself discusses Barbra’s actual 2010 design book with the audience to familiarize us. The facts about the book are hilarious. Barbra’s writing, for instance, assumes that the reader knows that Winterthur, the inspiration for the basement mall, is a decorative arts and antiques museum in Delaware. Sure sure.
Urie also explains that he doesn’t do an impersonation of Barbra when he acts out her side of dialogue. However, the little aspects of Barbra’s demeanor that he does evoke are so effective that by the middle you are sold on this choice. The slumped shoulders, the seemingly endless and loose fingers, it works.
One-person shows require truly great writing and acting to succeed at all. Often the most telling test for a show that features encounters between various characters is when the audience forgets that all of these characters are only played by one person. Buyer & Cellar absolutely passes this test: Urie really made me feel the presence of several people up on that tiny stage. At times, I was seized with concern for Barbra, wanting to yell to her that Alex probably meant to say more or less or that she could eat as much froyo as she wanted. And then I’d realize, not only is this fiction, but there is no actress up there even playing Barbra. Equally compelling were Alex’s memories of encounters with his boyfriend Barry, who in the beginning was more excited about Alex’s job working for perhaps the greatest gay icon, but as time progressed turned quickly against Babs, partly from the jealousy of Alex’s developing a relationship that he could have no part of, partly from that omnipresent glee we plebeians derive from hating on celebrities whose privilege we mock with derision yet of course envy. (I think 80% of all internet comments exemplify the latter.) That Alex, Barry, Barbra, Babs’s chief of staff, James Brolin hilariously, and even a French bubble-blowing automaton named Fifi all seemed to share the stage equally and fully is a testament to Urie’s talents.
The audience, clearly full of Barbra fans, was completely won over. The show mocks Barbra while somehow remaining kindhearted. It vilifies her well-known insecurities as superficial interview fodder yet conveys her vulnerability. And still it remains a light, delicious, and hilarious hour and a half that I whole-heartedly recommend experiencing. The producers recently, wisely, decided to extend its limited run indefinitely. My only regret was not waiting afterward to get a pictures with Urie, but I feared in my newfound fangirl state I would start “shopping for throw pillows” on him as Barbra once did. You just must see it!
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It’s Tony Awards Weekend! Thoughts and Hopes and Prayers and Stuff
Woof. And I don’t mean in the adorable doggie way. What a season we’ve had on Broadway this year! To be clear, I’m mostly talking about the musicals; I haven’t seen many plays this year. (Which is a shame, because the plays are a lot better.) But I’ve seen a lot of musicals, and man alive. Only one new musical was actually of the high caliber we expect on Broadway. Sure the others were still better than a lot of musicals on the West End (I will not stop criticizing West End musicals until they learn to live up to their potential), but nowhere close to what we would expect from Broadway professionals who shouldn’t be rushing apparent first drafts of work to the stage. Yet a lot of what is now playing in NYC feels exactly like that: first drafts that no one had the balls to say ‘wait this needs more work’ about before letting it go live and risking millions and millions of dollars. The worst part is that there are no new stories being told: Although our hero of the year, “The Band’s Visit”, feels new and fresh, it is actually derived from an Israeli film. Which is fine and well and good, especially since it’s a little known film so the story isn’t overdone in the least. But its three major competitors are much more well known and the sort where for even one of them you’d be like, that’s a Broadway musical now? but when you have all three together you are the embodiment of the smack-my-head emoji all day err day.
I’m talking of course about “Mean Girls”, “Frozen”, and “Spongebob SquarePants: The Broadway Musical” (real title)(is this the first Broadway musical to put ‘Broadway musical’ in its title??), all of which come from uber familiar properties and capitalize on existing fan bases. Although “Spongebob” actually exceeds expectations (and actually by a lot), it is still essentially silly fun best for kids, and although it deserves its 12 Tony nominations, it doesn’t deserve to win Best Musical (or Book, or Score). “Mean Girls” and “Frozen”, on the other hand, based on the decent-to-great movies, have been bloated beyond necessity to necessitate an intermission. The former has an unremarkable, boring score (not exactly the thing you want in a musical) and a too-long and stuffed structure, while the latter has shoehorned in new, uninspired songs and played with the structure like it’s Play-Doh in order to make “Let It Go” the finale of Act I, even though it occurs early in the movie. I don’t need to say anything about the other new musicals of the season, like “Escape to Margaritaville” (jukebox show of Jimmy Buffett songs…whooooo exactly was crying out for this?), “Summer” (jukebox show of Donna Summer…again I ask…), and “Rocktopia” (a rock concert that mashes up rock & roll with classical music and doesn’t pay its performers Equity standard), except to say that y’all should be ashamed of yourselves. Where is all the deep consideration that makes musical theatre art? And I’m looking for a better answer than “over at ‘The Band’s Visit.’” We need fresh stories that reflect all sorts of human experiences now, especially now, and to think that the best vehicle for those – the Broadway musical – is failing us so miserably is heartbreaking for me.
Fortunately, the musical revivals were a whole lot better than the newbies, for the most part. All three of them. One wasn’t so good, as you saw yesterday, but the other two were SO good that it almost makes up not only for the musical revivals as a whole but for the entire musical theatre season. That’s pretty f-ing incredible, and they really are. The race is a toss-up right now between the two (I really truly hope just between the two, but you never know what kind of insane shit voters can pull) and honestly I don’t know where I would send my vote if I had one (and I should have one; have you seen how many Tony voters abstain from categories because they haven’t seen them all yet? YOU HAVE ONE JOB).
At least we’re still getting the gift of great performances, as the best of the best of Broadway and beyond (I told you the best of the UK always ends up in NYC) are (mostly) giving their all 8 (mostly) times a week. Consequently, the acting races are hard to call and pretty darn stacked, so despite the lackluster season, the actual Tony Awards promise to be more exciting than in recent years, when gigantic hits were guaranteed certain awards. Let’s talk it through, team! MY choices are bold; my predictions are in the text (I want the impossible sometimes so the two don’t match up.)
BEST MUSICAL
- The Band’s Visit
- Frozen
- Mean Girls
- Spongebob SquarePants: The Broadway Musical
Sure I haven’t published reviews for all of them yet but the only one you really need to read is “The Band’s Visit”. Even in a better year, it stands out as a very special show, a show that’s definitively for adults and doesn’t try to pad its story, instead believing that purity of emotion, honest experiences, and connections between regular people are enough. And the score is gorgeous, funny, moving, all the things you want in a musical, yet it also sounds new and different from anything we’ve heard before. It’s a master work and deserves to win big on Sunday.
The worst part about this awards season, though, is that everything is a matter of timing. Last season was absolutely overflowing with quality productions, and it was so full that great shows barely garnered any award nominations because there was simply no room, and then they barely won any awards against the “Dear Evan Hansen” behemoth. This year, with “The Band’s Visit” really the only great show in the mix, so many of last year’s incredible shows could have gotten the acclaim they deserve. I’m thinking of “Bandstand”, which in a less crowded year would have racked up deserved nominations in most categories; I’m thinking of “Groundhog Day” which could have finally won Andy Karl a Tony; and even my beloved “Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812”, which had so many nominations, could have won more in this weak season. Nevertheless, “The Band’s Visit” is winning Best Musical this year, and deservedly so. If anything else happens on Sunday, the entire audience should walk out in protest. Not that anyone should care about silly awards, but come on everyone does.
BEST REVIVAL OF A MUSICAL
- Carousel
- My Fair Lady
- Once on This Island
This is the hardest category for me to choose just one. As we’ve discussed, “Carousel” was disappointing, but the other two revivals this season were extraordinary. “My Fair Lady” and “Once on This Island” were both exquisite, magical productions that I feel lucky to have seen. Honestly they were two of the best productions I’ve seen, ever, in any season, and so it’s just too bad that only one can win the Tony. MFL was as great a production of the familiar, beloved property that anyone could wish for, with every inch of it lush and gorgeous and riveting. OOTI is a less well known show but this production makes it seem like one of the classics, with incredible music and a heart that thumps so loudly and vividly that you can almost see it. When two shows are this perfect (104% perfect, as is the limit), it’s hard to choose between them, but when forced I will choose the one that is perfect but also reinvents the show to such an extent as to make it seem new and more exciting than ever, and that is “Once on This Island“.
BEST SCORE
- Angels in America
- The Band’s Visit
- Frozen
- Mean Girls
- Spongebob SquarePants: The Broadway Musical
You always know something is wrong when a play sneaks into this category. Not to knock the ‘Angels’ score, but no matter how great a play’s music is, it’s still not part of the story like a musical’s is, so if there were good enough musicals this year, they would be in here for their score. It shows how weak this season’s musicals are. And in any other season (see above about last season), “Mean Girls” would not be in there, as its trite, stale score is universally considered its weakest aspect, and “Frozen” would barely be squeaking by since it has to be considered on the merits of its new material, and not just “Let it Go”. “Spongebob” does have some clever, fun songs, but overall it feels disjointed, more like single units instead of a whole, which makes complete sense considering different artists wrote each song – there’s no cohesion. (The incredibly long list of artists involved in the score and thus nominated for a Tony just feels wrong, too, but it will be fun to hear whoever’s presenting this category. They’ll need a glass of water to get through it.) Regardless, “The Band’s Visit” must win this one for its elegant, inventive, beautiful music, which plays with different cultural elements to create a score that will historically be considered one of the greats. If there was a Best Song category, it would be winning for the stunning “Omar Sharif”, but even without that epic number this score is still sensational.
BEST BOOK
- The Band’s Visit
- Frozen
- Mean Girls
- Spongebob Squarepants: The Broadway Musical
This category is giving me agita like I never had before. That’s not even a little bit true; I get it all the time because I feel so many things *shakes fist* but this is the most culpable Tony category. It’s a race between “Mean Girls” and “The Band’s Visit”, but it’s not even a race because there is no surer thing that Tina Fey’s imminent Tony win. People REALLY don’t understand what a musical’s book is. It’s everything – the words that aren’t sung, sure, but it’s the story, it’s the structure, it’s how the story is formed with the songs. That’s why “Hamilton” deservedly won best book even though the whole shebang is sung-through. Yet since “Mean Girls” delivers Fey’s undeniably amazing jokes, people think ‘oh I’m laughing I’m having fun this book must be amazing.’ But it’s not. Every critic complained about how bloated the show was – an hour too long at least, stretched beyond what it should have been and thus padded with too much unnecessary crap. That’s by definition a problem with the book (for one). On the other hand, “The Band’s Visit” is clean, concise, and graceful, with every moment supporting the central theme. Itamar Moses should win, but won’t. Tina Fey is going to be a Tony winner. I mean I love her, but come on.
BEST LEADING ACTRESS IN A MUSICAL
- Lauren Ambrose, “My Fair Lady”
- Hailey Kilgore, “Once on This Island”
- LaChanze, “Summer: The Donna Summer Musical”
- Katrina Lenk, “The Band’s Visit”
- Taylor Louderman, “Mean Girls”
- Jessie Mueller, “Carousel”
Look at this utter shitshow of a category. SIX NOMINEES?? In this season? Nnnnno. It’s the result of a near-tie occurring in the nominating process, but still, this is a joke, especially since the men have only four. The ones that matter (to me) are Ambrose, Kilgore, and Lenk. Kilgore gives a fantastic Broadway debut, but for me it’s between Ambrose and Lenk, giving two stunning, wildly different performances that are each so phenomenal, so worthy that honestly I don’t know who I would vote for. This is the one time where I really want a tie, and considering there was a tie in the nominating, maybe there will be a tie in the winning! Just kidding; there won’t be – this is Lenk’s, and I’m thrilled for her, but I wish Ambrose was being discussed as clearly the runner-up and none of this other nonsense. But I mean, Julie Andrews didn’t even win for Eliza, so I guess it’s not the saddest thing ever that Ambrose won’t have a Tony for her portrayal either. And there’s really no reason to be sad as long as the goddess Katrina Lenk does indeed become a Tony winner. She is magical in this role, mesmerizing, graceful, magical, and her performance in my view is the story of the season.
BEST LEADING ACTOR IN A MUSICAL
- Harry Hadden-Paton, “My Fair Lady”
- Joshua Henry, “Carousel”
- Ethan Slater, “Spongebob Squarepants”
- Tony Shalhoub, “The Band’s Visit”
This category is also ridiculous because of math – there are four nominees because there weren’t enough eligible performers to make it five. But even so, this category is the hardest to call because all four are deserving. Honestly I won’t be surprised nor unhappy with any of these men winning. I would be voting for Harry Hadden-Paton and I would make sure all my Tony voter friends did the smart thing and voted for him too. His Henry Higgins established a new benchmark for that celebrated role, just beyond anyone’s dreams of what this Broadway newbie would do. But I also loved Shalhoub, and even though he barely sings in the show, his acting is part of what elevates the story to such heights. He deserves it too. Although I wasn’t a fan of “Carousel” (to put it mildly) and I thought Henry was miscast as Billy Bigelow, his Soliloquy was irrefutably profound and fantastically sung, and it’s not hard to predict that many voters will be thinking of that scene when voting. Also, he’s a beloved long-time performer in the community who many believe is due for a Tony. And then there’s Spongebob himself, who is actually considered the frontrunner. Slater works incredibly hard for 2 ½ hours, belting his face off, jumping all around the sets, dancing, laughing, man it’s exhausting to watch how hard he works. It’s also his Broadway debut and people love to reward debuts like this. Anyone can win and it won’t be surprising, but I think it’s beyond Spongebob and Monk, and so I’ll be over here doing rain dances for HHP.
BEST FEATURED ACTRESS IN A MUSICAL
- Ariana DeBose, “Summer: The Donna Summer Musical”
- Renee Fleming, “Carousel”
- Lindsay Mendez, “Carousel”
- Ashley Park, “Mean Girls”
- Diana Rigg, “My Fair Lady”
This is another headscratcher of a category, considering nooooo one thought “Summer” was going to get any nominations, “Mean Girls” is brimming with worthy featured actress performances and Park’s was the one least predicted to get nominated, and Diana Rigg has like 5 lines in “My Fair Lady”. It’s a weird category. And the front-runner seems to be for the role and not the performer – that of Carrie Pipperidge in “Carousel”. The person in that part, Lindsay Mendez (who was out when I saw the show I’m not mad or anything), will probably win on Sunday. Even though I’m sure she’s amazing, her role was also predicted to win a Tony for the woman first cast in the role, Betsy Wolfe, as soon as she was announced (she had to leave the production for scheduling conflicts and so Mendez came in). I think Carrie is such a meaty, incredible role, especially compared to the smaller-than-you-recall ‘leading’ role of Julie, that it doesn’t matter who plays her, they will win a Tony. Betsy would have won, Audra won in the last revival, and Lindsay will win. As long as the actress does a good job, the role will seal a Tony deal. Of course, her competition is freaking Renee Fleming, who is fantastic in the role and performed in the performance I saw, so I’d vote for her. Loves me some Fleming! However, Ashley Park is having a banner year with her acclaimed role in off-Broadway’s K-POP, and she could ride that wave of good will to a win. My real choice here is the very much snubbed Kenita R. Miller from “Once on This Island”, who took a small, usually forgotten role and made it the beating heart and moving soul of a celebrated production.
BEST FEATURED ACTOR IN A MUSICAL
- Norbert Leo Butz, “My Fair Lady”
- Alexander Gemignani, “Carousel”
- Grey Henson, “Mean Girls”
- Gavin Lee, “Spongebob SquarePants”
- Ari’el Stachel, “The Band’s Visit”
This is another big toss-up category, as three of these nominees could win and it would be deserved and unsurprising – Norbs, Gavin, and Ari’el. Norbert is always wonderful, and his work in “My Fair Lady” is fantastic. He would be deserving of a third Tony win for his exuberant, pitch-perfect turn as Alfred Doolittle even though he is not much older than his stage daughter, Lauren Ambrose. But voters do like to spread the wealth, and Gavin Lee is the clear showstopper in “Spongebob”. Not only does he perform the whole show with four legs, but he is given the best scene in the entire show with his extravagant 4-legged tap dance number. (You don’t have Gavin in a show without an extravagant tap dance number.) But Ari’el is the one to beat for his charismatic, captivating debut as Haled in “The Band’s Visit”, where he loves Chet Baker and, well, love in general. I’d be thrilled for him to win.
As for the other two, the nomination is the honor for Grey, who gets to say the best line in “Mean Girls” (“Danny DeVito I love your work!”), and the super surprise honor for Gemignani, who was not predicted to be nominated for his small (but charming and well done) role in “Carousel”. But honestly, this category is the most messed up for how many deserving actors were squeezed out of this final list, especially Alex Newell, a showstopper in “Once on This Island” who was predicted to not only be nominated but to have a strong shot at a win. I also wanted his castmate Phillip Boykin to be nominated for his extraordinary work. Alas. After seeing “My Fair Lady”, I’m disappointed that Jordan Donica didn’t get a nomination for his beautiful, lovable turn as Freddy Eynsford-Hill, aka the man who sings “On the Street Where You Live” and gives one of the best versions I’ve heard. But the most upsetting exclusion from this list is the likely winner’s cast mate and the man who would have been my choice to win: John Cariani from “The Band’s Visit”, whose Itzik comes across as fun and silly at first but it hides a broken heart that will break yours by the end of the show. He’s fantastic in the show and his exclusion is the worst snub here.
BEST DIRECTOR
- Michael Arden, “Once on This Island”
- David Cromer, “The Band’s Visit”
- Tina Landau, “Spongebob SquarePants”
- Casey Nicholaw, “Mean Girls”
- Barlett Sher, “My Fair Lady”
This is another category where anyone (except Casey, sorries) would be a deserving winner. Bartlett Sher’s production is pitch perfect, like truly and absolutely flawless. Tina Landau does incredible things to make “Spongebob” pop to life and is a viable contender for the clever staging she produced. David Cromer would be a deserving winner for the faultless, tight-as-a-drum “The Band’s Visit”, where every moment is meaningful, no matter how small. But my vote would go to Michael Arden, who has transformed a show we thought we knew into something new and magical and unexpected. His revival is as perfect as Sher’s, but with the added element of reinvention of the known property, which should secure a win for him. However, I think voters may actually wish to reward “Spongebob” here.
As for plays, I only saw “Three Tall Women” and “Farinelli and the King”. The latter is a perfectly decent show, with a great performance by Mark Rylance, but it doesn’t stand a chance against the force of nature “Harry Potter” in the new play categories. As for the former, it’s one of the most incredible plays I’ve ever seen, with performances that keep me up at night for their majesty, from Glenda Jackson (who will best Best Actress in a Play) and Laurie Metcalf, whose Tony win last year I’ll pretend is for this year too. This play would also rightly win for Scenic Design if it wasn’t for Harry Potter, because what they did with that magic plexiglass/mirror contraption in Act II still takes my breath away to think about. It was a real feat of stage-making and I can’t wait to talk about it more soon in my review. For revivals, “Angels in America” will win whatever it can because who can say no to 8 hours about men dying from AIDS??? Their predicted sweep includes a Best Actor win for Andrew Garfield, which I’m happy about because Emma Stone won an Oscar and I felt a bit bad for him since their break-up.
So, to quote Forrest, that’s all I gotta say about that. Haha that’s the biggest lie I ever told; I could talk about this for WEEKS ON END but I think you’ve read enough. Make sure to watch the Tony Awards this Sunday on CBS! How can you not be counting down the minutes until MY BOY JOSHY G (Josh Groban of course) begins his host duties?! I’m so excited for him and Sara Bareilles and I hope they do well. Remember, we are all winners as long as no one does a medley. MEDLEYS NEVER WORK.
So, to quote Forrest, that’s all I gotta say about that. Haha that’s the biggest lie I ever told; I could talk about this for WEEKS ON END but I think you’ve read enough. Make sure to watch the Tony Awards this Sunday on CBS! How can you not be counting down the minutes until MY BOY JOSHY G (Josh Groban of course) begins his host duties?! I’m so excited for him and Sara Bareilles and I hope they do well. Remember, we are all winners as long as no one does a medley. MEDLEYS NEVER WORK.
Amelie the Musical Never Captures the Right Tone (or Tunes)
Musical theatre composers always say the test for what songs make the final score is rigorous and specific: They have to serve the story. The story comes first and the music needs to help tell it, whether by driving plot or developing characters. If the best song you’ve ever written doesn’t serve a purpose in the story, or just doesn’t fit the rest of the show, it needs to be cut. (That’s how we got the Hamilton Mixtape.) (Also how we got the incredible song “Come Down From That Tree” which we only know from Audra McDonald’s own recording of it because they wisely cut it from Once on this Island because it didn’t fit, even though it is a Best Song Ever.) I feel like most new musicals forget this test. Despite having so many productions in so many cities over the past four years, the London production of Amelie is full, packed, of songs that don’t pass the test. And the ones that do serve a purpose don’t fit the rest of the show, as the inconsistent tone only becomes more and more chaotic as the night goes on. It’s overall a poorly constructed show (funny since the actual physical construction/set design is the strongest part) with a confused purpose.
I don’t remember much about Amelie the movie, except that of course it was beyond whimsical and is probably responsible for the onslaught of manic-pixie-dreamgirls in the culture, or at least pale brunettes whose main personality trait is ‘quirky’. (PSA: Quirky/weird is not a personality.) A lot of my criticism of the ridiculous, messy story is likely taken straight from the movie. You might argue then that my problem is with the movie writers, not the creative team of the musical. And to that I’d say, what is this, Pretty Woman? Your job in adapting a film for the stage is not to copy and paste, failing to fix what needs to be fixed in order to work onstage. Whether this jumbled story worked in the film is completely irrelevant for stage purposes. They may have nailed the proper whimsical, eccentric tone in the movie, but trying the same things to achieve the same things in a different medium is bonkers and has resulted in an almost incoherent musical, with no discernible tone, objective, meaning, or intention.
With music by Daniel Messe (who wrote the music for the movie…and that score is excellent…so like…ah) and Nathan Tysen, and a book by Craig Lucas (who wrote one of my faves The Light in the Piazza which is also about a young girl who is, shall we say, not entirely there (so we were like…is that the only character he likes to write about because that’s problematic)), Amelie tells of a young French girl who lives through her imagination after a childhood of seclusion because her parents forking sucked. (Her mom gets killed by a man who jumps off Notre Dame, but he ALSO FIRST SHOOTS HIMSELF? Why? To make sure? What an asshole.) She decides to do a nice thing that makes someone else happy, so then she decides to do more nice things for other people and try to break out of her shell and maybe one day live in the real world. It sounds adorable! Except the things she does FORKING SUCK. Amelie the character is GODDAMN ASSHOLE. Is she supposed to be adorable? Is the whimsy supposed to make up for her assholiness? To quote Chidi-Janet: It does not. Makes it way worse.
The good deeds Amelie does include: finding a box under her floorboards and deciding to find its owner, which she does remarkably easily. To mark this occasion and her decision to do more good things, she…no, she doesn’t sing a song, her neighbor does, about being the old French man version of Samuel L. Jackson’s Mr Glass character.
Then, in the café where she works, there’s a really terrifying man stalking one of her coworkers because they went on a date a year ago. Instead of calling the police and filing for a restraining order, and maybe alerting the French version of the FBI that this is for sure a future incel/supremacist who is going to murder women, Amelie…sets him up with her other friend. For this there is no excuse.
Then there’s the mean old grocer who is mean to the boy who works for him because he…loves figs? This kid gets a little song about figs. Amelie doesn’t get a solo in the entirety of Act I. In Act II, she feeds the old man fig tart and it somehow makes him nice. I don’t know.
At some point, she bumps into a man named Nino, who spends his time going through public photo booths, like the kind where you get a strip of 4 photos in black and white. He collects the discarded ones; it’s his art. It’s love at first sight and Amelie sings about how striking this unexpected feeling is…no, Nino sings a song about the photo booth light. One day he loses his collection of photos, and Amelie finds it. Instead of returning it to him, she plays infuriating games with him and keeps his prized possession from him for literally weeks, but I guess he finds that adorable. I was fuming. Give people their shit back. One of the games she plays includes…going to the sex shop where he works, disguising herself as a nun, and then running away scared when she realizes he’s going to come out and see her?? WHAT DID SHE THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN? What is this white nonsense.
Amid all of this is a weird and tacky obsession with the death of Princess Diana. It’s in poor taste. I get that that’s a big thing in the movie but man alive it felt gross. Amelie imagines a big mega funeral for herself, with Elton John performing…and Act I ends with a HUGE rocking Elton John number that again, did not fit the show AT ALL.
I’m going to repeat that Elton John gets a big Act I number but in a musical named after her, Amelie does not have a solo in the entirety of the first act (except for a mini reprise). She doesn’t even seem like the main character at any point. The tone of the show is inconsistent and even contradictory, just all over the place, with big ridiculous silly numbers performed by giant garden gnomes and Elton Johns along with offbeat, artsy introspective songs. I guess with the contrast of styles they wanted to capture some whimsy? But it just feels like nonsense. There’s no magic. There’s one or two great songs in Act II, one with Amelie at the piano, that shows how good this show could have been with more work, and more editing. Or any editing.
Fortunately, along with the wonderful set design, the cast is doing a great job trying to keep this material afloat. Audrey Brisson’s Amelie looks exactly right and gives a great performance. The show takes a memo from the John Doyle playbook and has the actors doubling as the orchestra, which is impressive, and everyone is pretty uniformly good to great. With the solid cast and design, the production is definitely decent, but unlike the Guardian I can’t get past the material.
INFORMATION
Amelie is playing at The Other Palace in London until February 1.
This theatre has one of those horrible no-center-aisle situations so be sure to book seats on or near the aisles if you want to avoid being the last person out. Bathrooms are outside in the bar area but ALSO down in the secrets bowels of the building, accessed via a door directly at the bottom of the stage on the house left side. It took me several visits to learn about these secret and much better bathrooms down in the hallways between the main house and the studio that no one would usually get to explore. So now I like to sit on the house left/stage right aisle.
There is a lot of unnecessary smoking, and whatever herbal cigarettes they are using almost made me pass out. I get that ‘it’s Paris’, but you’ve shown that in myriad other ways. I dare anyone involved in theatre to defend well the use of cigarettes in a show. It’s never really necessary and instead is a health hazard to all and I don’t understand how it’s legal.
There’s also a super loud gunshot that shocked the shirt out of me. There was a small sign with all the trigger warnings on the door to the theatre but the ticket takers were blocking it when we entered, so, great work.
The first act ended at 20:43 and the show ended at 22:15. I felt every minute of it.
