January 19, 2023
VeganMOFO Veganizing "Friends": Rachel's English Trifleby Randi / September 12, 2013
My piece!
Yom Kippur, or the Day of Atonement, is the most sacred and important of all the Jewish holidays. You fast from sundown to sundown (so, a day) and pray, repent, atone, and hope that your past sins are forgiven. And then, if you are like 99% of Jews, you and your relatives break the fast with a smoked fish and lox platter from the local Jewish deli. So, to recap what we’ve learned the past few weeks, Rosh Hashanah:apples::Yom Kippur:bagels.
The bagel part is fine, but the huge platter of fish, not so much. I’ll usually make a hummus or two to add to the mix, and some kind of dessert. This year, I decided to up my game in the dessert area and finally make a recipe I’ve literally had saved for 3 years – VeganDad’s chocolate cinnamon babka. I mean, you don’t get any more Jewish than babka. Why haven’t I made this until now, I wondered? Everyone loves a babka! And chocolate and cinnamon combines the best types. Remember when Jerry & Elaine lost the famous chocolate babka?
The bagel part is fine, but the huge platter of fish, not so much. I’ll usually make a hummus or two to add to the mix, and some kind of dessert. This year, I decided to up my game in the dessert area and finally make a recipe I’ve literally had saved for 3 years – VeganDad’s chocolate cinnamon babka. I mean, you don’t get any more Jewish than babka. Why haven’t I made this until now, I wondered? Everyone loves a babka! And chocolate and cinnamon combines the best types. Remember when Jerry & Elaine lost the famous chocolate babka?
Poor customers of that bakery, having to choose between chocolate and cinnamon. As Joey Tribbiani, my usual source of inspiration, would say, “Put those hands together!”* Let’s do it!
Yeahh this yeast is jumping now!
Then I creamed sugar and Earth Balance (which I didn’t really measure; I just spooned it 6 times and figured it was close to 6 tablespoons), added yogurt, vanilla, the yeast, and then the flour. So, the recipe calls for 15 oz. of flour, which is basically 2 cups, right? I had to use nearly 5 cups and it was still sticky. With only 15 oz., it was pretty liquidy. Maybe I did something wrong, we’ll see. This is all very dramatic.
Then I kneaded kneaded kneeeeaded, ‘cleaned’ the mixing bowl, oiled it, and dropped the ball o’ dough in there. It says to let it sit, covered, for 2 hours, but I was out for 4. I returned to find it puffing nicely in the bowl. 
The best stuff on earth
So, next you roll this up length-wise, as tightly as you can. This is where I not only had trouble but didn’t read the instructions properly. I rolled pretty well (it’s a lot of dough here), but then you are supposed to cut it in half length-wise. Like, exposing chocolate. I cut it in half width-wise, creating two little stumpy arms. Oh well, it’ll taste the same (if you close your eyes*) no matter how you do it.
My stumpy twist
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I strayed from the recipe somewhat, as I am wont to do, so I’ll splain what I did. I started by warming up some almond milk and adding the yeast. (The recipe calls for 2T of instant yeast, but I had only the packets that are like 2 1/4 t or something. Whatever…we’ll see what happens.) But it didn’t get foamy! I was freaking out. Was it because I used almond milk instead of soy, as the directions said? Was it because my milk was unsweetened? Ahhh! Being somewhat yeast-fearing, I threw it out and started again. This time, I used warm water instead. I have only ever testfoamed yeast + water + sugar, so I stuck with what I know, and it properly Hulked out.
Punch punch punch!
Next, I made the filling. You melt chocolate, margarine, and cinnamon together, then spread it on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet and stick it in the fridge till firm. Once it is firm, roll out your dough into a big rectangle, like 2 feet long, a foot and a 1/2 wide, something like that, then place the chocolate layer right on top, in as many pieces as it takes.
Chocolate layer on top of the rolled-out dough
Rolling with the homies
So, because I did it wrong, my roll was short & stout like a teapot. But I kind of preferred it this way. Can you imagine how long it would have been the right way? And this way is more fun to pull apart.
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So, once you twist it, you let it sit and rise again for like 1.5 hours. I knowww. It’s probably worth it though. Important yeasting action happening. You probably want real directions, huh? (I’ll use what I did.)
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INGREDIENTS:
Dough:
Filling:
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DIRECTIONS:
Filling:
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ASSEMBLY:
Roll out your dough into a rectangle, about 2′ x 1.5′. Place the chocolate layer right on top of the dough, finagling to cover the whole square. Then, tightly roll the dough lengthwise. Then, cut it in half lengthwise – so the chocolate insides are exposed. And then twist the two halves together. Let this twist sit for 1.5 hours on a parchment-covered baking sheet. Then, bake for 25 minutes at 350°.
Yes, I am recommending that you cut it lengthwise, and not stumpily like I did. My outside browned really nicely, but it was still nearly raw inside. So, that’s the whole point of the long skinny cut – easier baking. I mean, when my version puffed up into a freaking cube, I knew the inside couldn’t be cooked.
Roll out your dough into a rectangle, about 2′ x 1.5′. Place the chocolate layer right on top of the dough, finagling to cover the whole square. Then, tightly roll the dough lengthwise. Then, cut it in half lengthwise – so the chocolate insides are exposed. And then twist the two halves together. Let this twist sit for 1.5 hours on a parchment-covered baking sheet. Then, bake for 25 minutes at 350°.
Yes, I am recommending that you cut it lengthwise, and not stumpily like I did. My outside browned really nicely, but it was still nearly raw inside. So, that’s the whole point of the long skinny cut – easier baking. I mean, when my version puffed up into a freaking cube, I knew the inside couldn’t be cooked.
That’s a huge bitch
It’s pretty great looking though. And yeah, it is DELICIOUS. I definitely recommend making it. But you’ll have an easier time if you cut it long-ways, and not how I did. I mean, this thing is never going to be done cooking. It is bigger than me. But it’s yummy!
*Remember, guess the source/comment on the things that are starred and you will be entered into my big MoFo giveaway! Details tomorrow!
From this post: What was Joey referring to when he said ‘Put those hands together’? And what is the source of the lyrics above the stumpy twist picture?
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New Orleans Inspirations: The Fried Bread Pudding Po’ Boy
Welcome, my little bunnies, to my post about – without a doubt – the most gluttonous, glutenous thing I will make and eat probably EVER.
We are going to have to listen to this while we work, because it’s the only sound I can think of that properly captures both how ridiculous this is and how my friend and I felt when we didn’t have to eat any more of it.
If you read my New Orleans general food guide, you know that during our epic eating week I came across this hilarious, unbelievable, obviously non-vegan gem of a food item that apparently people actually eat:
A fried bread pudding po’boy. That means people have eaten a pile of bread pudding used as sandwich filling on a French baguette. And what’s fried? Is it the bread pudding hunk that is fried into a patty then placed on the bread? Is the pudding placed on the bread as is, and then the whole baguette is fried? ARE BOTH THE PUDDING AND THE SANDWICH FRIED? Yes. Yes, is being my answer. Easy question. Let’s make this!
FRIED BREAD PUDDING PO’ BOY
PART 1 – THE BREAD PUDDING
First, we make the bread pudding. This turned out to be a delicious recipe and you should definitely make it, even if you don’t have the strength to move on to part 2. I used Ezekiel’s Cinnamon Raisin bread, which was invented for the sole purpose of using in bread pudding, but you can use any bread really. I’d add a teaspoon of cinnamon if you use regular bread, because who doesn’t want cinnamon bread pudding?
First, we make the bread pudding. This turned out to be a delicious recipe and you should definitely make it, even if you don’t have the strength to move on to part 2. I used Ezekiel’s Cinnamon Raisin bread, which was invented for the sole purpose of using in bread pudding, but you can use any bread really. I’d add a teaspoon of cinnamon if you use regular bread, because who doesn’t want cinnamon bread pudding?
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Ingredients:
Directions:
I believe this is what’s called raw food? |
LEANING TOWER OF BREADDDD 
This is what’s left of the 6 pound bag of besan I bought on Amazon 
Sugared 
Not raw food |
PART 2: THE VANILLA SAUCE
I don’t see how the restaurant’s prize-winning po’ boy would have won anything without a really good sauce.
I don’t see how the restaurant’s prize-winning po’ boy would have won anything without a really good sauce.
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Ingredients:
Directions:
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“Hey there pudding I’m coming for you! Yayyyy!” |
Part 3: THE FRYING AND THE ASSEMBLING
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Ingredients:
Directions:
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so many hand pictures 
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OBVIOUSLY, if you own a personal deep fryer, drop that entire sandwich into that bad boy. Oh man, I DARE ANY OF YOU TO DO THAT. Please tell me about it if you do and we’ll post pictures.
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Oh yes add peanut butter to it, by all means |
There you have it, America.
Yummy Pasta Alert! Apple-Sage Sausage, Chard, & Cashew-Pistachio Cream
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I only made this because I like using hyphens. And because it’s uhhhmazing! This is rapidly becoming my favorite pasta dish. It’s really easy but it tastes like it’s difficult. You cook the best type of Field Roast sausage, the apple sage kind, with its perfectly paired green – rainbow swiss chard – and put it over fusilli. Then, you whip up this amazing creamy cheesy sauce in two seconds in your blender, and voila! Breakfast! No that’s from “Rookie of the Year”! I mean dinner! Or breakfast! Whatever you want dude!
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I like to pair this pasta with a simple green salad without dressing, because I’ll inevitably wipe up the remaining sauce with the leaves, as I do with any salad and any sauce. Also, I used quinoa-brown rice pasta (from Trader Joe’s) for this, so it can be easily made gluten-free. Of course, I’m not sure about any of the sauce ingredients being gluten-free. And, of courser, the Field Roast sausage is made of gluten, I’m pretty sure. But then even more of courser, most punks nowadays claiming they are gluten-free only mean they don’t want to eat pasta and bread because scary carbs/they don’t understand nutrition and people with real gluten allergies already know what they can and can’t eat so I don’t have to worry about it. So!
Gluten-Free (or Not! Probably Not!) Pasta with Apple-Sage Sausage, Swiss Chard, & Cashew-Pistachio Cream
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The foods
Ingredients:
Directions:
Cream sauce
Directions:
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 Party girls don’t get hurt  Can’t feel anything, when will I learn  I push it down, push it downnnn  123 123 drink, throw em back till I lose count  IIIIII’M GONNA SWIIIIIIING FROM THE CHANDELIEEEERRRR  FROM THE CHANDELIEEEEEERRRR |
Yuuummm! You should eat with a fork because it is pasta (and maybe salad). I used a spoon because I don’t like dirtying extra things. Also I usually just use my fingers. And my face.
I really loved the fresh parsley as an addition to an otherwise heavy cream. You can use this sauce in so many ways: over tofu or tempeh, in mashed potatoes (ERMA P. GERD), over pretty much anything you want except ice cream. I hope you enjoy!
I’M GONNA FLYYYY LIKE A BIRD THROUGH THE NIGHT
