I shouldn’t be surprised that the absolute shitshow of our society has extended its reach to the Oscars, my favorite thing, but here we are. The 91st Academy Awards will have the inauspicious repute of being the ceremony that went from bad to worse for no good reason. If anyone knows Donna Gigliotti and Glenn Weiss, the Oscars producers, and John Bailey, the Academy president, I hope you show them this to read and then give them a lollipop so those babies feel better after I’m done. Guys, the FORK is wrong with you? You’re in the entertainment business but can’t think of a comedian other than Kevin Hart? I’m not even going to list potential comedians who would have been better – and who are not homophobic assholes (or the shortest man in America) – because it’s endless. Yet instead of finding a decent, funny human to host, you decided that the longest awards ceremony, the one that famously becomes untenable halfway through, didn’t need a host this year. Were you trying to make a pissy little statement about how much you love Kevin Hart and hate tolerance, because that’s the only thing that anyone gets from your behavior. Why are idiots in charge of literally EVERYTHING?
READ IT ALL!