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Zhangye Danxia, China: The “One Beautiful Place in West of China”

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When we were planning our almost-month-and-a-half in China, I chose a few places I wanted to go and added them to our ever-growing list of possibilities: Huangshan which we did and which failed us miserably; the rice terraces outside Yangshuo; and Danxia, the incredible colorful geopark at Zhangye. Unfortunately, we didn’t have time to fit the latter two into our schedule given the train times and buses and how far they were from other things we were doing. That’s okay, there was so much to see in this country and I wasn’t tooo disappointed at not being able to fit in a visit to the natural beauty of the mountainous rock formations that somehow made insane colors of rock that will blow your mind. Okay, I was a little disappointed. 

​Which is why I was SO SUPER PUMPED when the company that booked all of our China train tickets made a last minute suggestion to our itinerary that would make me sublimely happy. We planned all the routes we wanted and our whole schedule (okay Z did) but we (very wisely) hired a Chinese company called China DIY Travel to book the actual tickets. (Have you looked at the ticket booking websites?? THEY ARE IN CHINESE. Have you spoken to an agent at a train station ticket office? They do not speak English and they do NOT try to work with you to communicate. Hire this company if you are going.) Helen, the representative at China DIY who assisted us the whole time, was amazing and I love her. I mostly love her because the week before we were to leave Xi’an for Dunhuang, she sent us an email that said she had been looking at our itinerary and saw that we were just doing a 24-hour sleeper train from Xi’an to Dunhuang, which sounds dire. She said “I have a crazy idea” that we should take a newly launched bullet train (so fast, nicer, kind of like Amtrak?) from Xi’an to a little town called Zhangye that would take less than 7 hours, in order to stop at Zhangye and hire a taxi to drive us an hour and a half to DANXIAAAAAA THE ROCK FORMATION GEOPARK AHHHH YESSS HELEN YOU’RE AMAZING. Then we could have from about 3pm to midnight to get to the park and see the park (plenty of time!) and then return to Zhangye station for a midnight sleeper train that would get us to Dunhuang at 7am. So that would make it 14 hours on two broken up trains instead of 24 on one long one, AND in between we get to see the big f-ing thing I wanted to see so badly! It was a no-brainer. We responded to Helen and said YASSS QUEEN and her response had us crying hysterically we were laughing so hard. Get this: She responded all excited and ended her email of our new instructions with the sentence “I really hope you can have one beautiful place to visit in West of China.” AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Meaning all the many things we are seeing in the rest of western China are not so much to look at (but it has a great personality?) which I pretty much agree with her about. Z insists that she didn’t intend her words to come out that way and just meant ‘a’ beautiful place in western China, not ‘the only’, but that’s the way I want to take it and you can’t take that away from me. Anyway all this to say, WE WENT TO DANXIA AND IT WAS JUST AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE PICTURES WHEN YOU GOOGLE!
​Okay…maybe not AS beautiful or as shockingly colorful as those — because most of the pictures online are photoshopped to increase the color saturation to really make it look even crazier than it is. But the real stuff doesn’t need photoshop! I was prepared to see a much duller (not boring dull, but in terms of color talk) landscape than I saw online and I was fine with that. But it was still so spectacular! I was so impressed and wowed by the color streaks and brightness of this natural phenomenon. So, we did not do any photoshopping (do I ever edit my pictures? lol no way takes too long), but we took every single picture three times – once in normal mode, once in ‘sunset’ mode, and once in ‘expressive color’ mode. Here is the same shot in each of those modes, in that order of normal/sunset/color (/sugar/butter/flour). Erma P I’m gonna do my first slideshow! Dance emoji dance emoji!

So you can see how much variation can exist in photos. You probably are thinking, well that color mode one, that looks a bit like you’re being just as bad as the photoshopping fakers abounding on the internet. But actually, that mode best represents what it really looked like in person! THIS IS TRUTH. The normal mode is sooo lackluster and drab and it’s really not accurate. CAMERA LIES. So I’m going to switch around which versions of the pictures I share depending on what best represents how it really looked in person. Twas amaze. 
​Before we share all the pictures (we took hundos, each), let’s backtrack and share every detail of my day like I do. 

We landed in Zhangye and immediately tried to find food. Outside the train station – Zhangye West, the newer one – is a ring of small restaurants with no menus and no English and just a few tables and like a guy you try to talk to. We went in one that had pictures on the walls and people were smoking so we left. We went in another and they had a No Smoking sign. WE WERE STAYING FOREVER. 
​The man working there was incredibly helpful despite not knowing any English. We used our phones to communicate that I wanted him to give me all the tofu and all the vegetables they had and I tried to get it to say “You probably think I just mean I want a lot of tofu and vegetables, but what I said was, give me ALL the tofu and all the vegetables you have” but that didn’t work. The guy asked if spicy was okay and if we wanted noodles and we were like yes and sure? and he made me one of the best meals I had in all of China I’m not even kidding. It was a giant bowl of super spicy chili oiled broth with tofu and broccoli and leafy greens and deliciousness and then, like he read my mind, a SEPARATE bowl of noodles so I could just take the amount I wanted. It was SO GOOD. And so spicy. BUT SO GOOD. 
​Here is the outside so if you find yourself in Zhangye you go to the nicest man’s shop and not the gross other ones. 
​Super full, we then we like, okay now onto Danxia. But…it was THE WORST WEATHER. Remember the aforementioned horrible weather we encountered in Huangshan, my OTHER important beloved choice, that ended up failing us? It was like that – cold, rainy, foggy, very low visibility. In short, a terrible day to visit a site that requires good visibility. We were so upset about that but I was more upset that apparently Universe wanted to ruin all the things I particularly wanted to do! Does the universe not want me to make decisions because that’s a TERRIBLE lesson. Z was tentative about going all the way to Danxia and paying all the money for a taxi to take us there and then wait for hours and then take us back (that’s what you’re supposed to do because there aren’t taxis at the site) if we might not even see anything. But I was like are you kidding, we are definitely going and trying and seeing what we came to see because we came all this way to and ALEXANDER I CAME ALL THIS WAY SHE CAME ALL THIS WAY ALL THIS WAY.  And thank goodness we went because, while I’m sure it’s even more stunning on sunny days, it was REMARKABLE. It was definitely one of my favorite places. 
So we found a cab very quickly (we were still in the station’s parking lot pretty much) and showed her a message in Chinese that Helen had written for us, saying essentially “please take me to Danxia, and wait, and then drive me back to the main train station” (our night train left from the other station in town – yes even tiny towns you never heard of in China are big enough to warrant two train stations). Helen said it cost her 180 yuan 3 years ago when she did it, and we were just hoping for under 300 given the expected upcharge for not being Chinese/able to haggle, and the lady driving said 240 so we were okay with that! (That’s about $36 which for China is a lot-ish but we were like that is almost the flag-drop in London taxis, so, score.) Also it was a lady cab driver which we liked. 

​Of course, this being China and us being in a taxi, something ridiculous had to happen. After about ten minutes of driving, the lady pulled over on the side of the road next to a man in a nice jacket that I assumed at first glance was from Jack Wolfskin but it actually said “Jake Wolfking” and despite how delighted this made us, we were still very concerned about wtf was going on. Lady got out and man got in and we were like HEY LADY, what’s happening? She didn’t speak English, she just pointed to the man and nodded. We had no idea what was going on! Luckily, we worked out with the man that he was her husband and was just taking over our long job. JFC it is a mess not being able to communicate. So all was okay just a slight scare. 

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the men’s bathroom sign was LITERALLY a picture of a man smoking like come the f on China
​We got to Danxia at about 4:45 and they had a GIANT building with a GIANT sign that said ‘toilets’ and they were pretty clean. And then the little road to the ticket office was full of camel-shaped (somehow, I know) wooden stalls selling melons and nannerpusses. It was already my favorite place in China.

And it got even better. We bought tickets – under 100 yuan each, which is not bad (like $15), and it includes the (pretty required) shuttle bus around the ENORMOUS, ENDLESS grounds – and got on the shuttle bus to the first amazing area, about 10 minutes down the mountain road, and I was SO HAPPY. It was BIG and BEEYOOOTIFUL! Every area has stairs up to the top of that peak (omg so much climbing) and platforms to walk along to see all views, plus signs and stuff for the highlights. Our first highlight was Sleeping Beauty, the sign for which reads, and this is verbatim, “The earth beauty that was formed during the Cretaceous Period and the nature gives birth to and makeunders after long-term weathering, has relieved and soft lines, fruity and lithe and graceful figure, and colorful dress. We don’t know it is a fairy or dragon out of the sea, but we want to stay here indeed, because it stands here for one hundred million year.” I MEAN. WAS I IN HEAVEN, YES. 

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So here’s the picture of Sleeping Beauty…not sure if the sign was accurate. Also did they mean makeunder like what they did to Charlize in Monster.
​OH this is a good time to tell you an important bit of info: We entered at the north gate, but there are east and west gates too. And, the shuttle you catch at each gate is different, they take you on different routes around the grounds, so you see different things. Now, there is a transfer station at the middle, so you can hop on all the various shuttles and see all the things (just remember to get on your gate’s right bus at the end so you find your taxi), but it took us a full three hours to see everything just up to that transfer station! (That’s also the last station before the north gate.) This place is ENORMOUS! Three hours of driving and climbing and more driving (for long stretches, too), and we saw maaaybe half, probably less. And it was all incredible! I think we saw the highlights. What do you think?
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lolol
​And, OF COURSE, there were amazing signs. Crucial (not) commentary in the captions. 
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never seen that used like that before
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i mean dude i’d listen to you but I don’t know what you mean
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that’s LITERALLY the opposite of what Mother Superior said
Even though it was freezing and I was a shibber, I felt JOY for the first time in weeks. I’m just kidding I know I complain a lot (a lot a lot) but I liked most of China and most of what we did this is just my platform for venting. But I really loved this place. It’s up there with the Great Wall on my list of Mosts. 
​I didn’t even share the best part yet – at every shuttle dropoff point was a TOILET! And not a disgusting outhouse but a real building with walls and floors and stuff. (Okay it’s not the best part but it’s up there.)
The only negative about this experience (besides the weather) is that a lot of people were staring and very conspicuously taking photos of me, because I am white. FFS, even the ONLY other white person we saw here (actually the only one all day and for days after) took a picture of (well with) us because he bet his Chinese wife that they wouldn’t see any other foreigners so he had to make proof of it? But that wasn’t as upsetting as all the Chinese men and teenage girls (seriously, just those two demos) taking my photo and laughing. It almost ruined my whole day. A few times I said to the person ‘that’s really not okay please don’t’ and they understood I think from my face and tone that shiz was not cool but they just shrugged. Arghhhhh.

While it dampened my spirits (so they could match my clothes!) it did not tarnish the beauty of this amazing place.

We got back to Mr. Wolfking at almost 8pm, bought two tubs of camel-stall melon (I felt like a having pounds of watermelon and cantaloupe for dinner, it’s so good here), drove to the station and had about three hours to kill before our midnight train to Dunhuang (leaving on a midnight traaaaain) so we just putzed around the station and stuff. And to top off an amazing day, this train, which was yet another K train, was the nicest of all the K’s! It had soap in the sink area! It was clean! We bought out the other two beds again (#ghostchildren) and could use all the extra pillows and blankets and NOT BE ITCHY FROM THEM! The attendants were nice! It was smoky but just ever so slightly less so! It was only 7 hours so it was a shame that we didn’t have this one for a longer journey. When I mentioned that, Z asked if that meant I wanted to stay on longer and I immediately turned into Randolph & Mortimer (should start automatically at 0:40 but if it doesn’t, well, go to 0:40):


Onto the next!
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