January 19, 2023
“Spongebob Squarepants” on Broadway: Tons of Fun but Ultimately for Kidsby Randi / July 12, 2018
It’s Theatre Thursday! Today we are looking at London’s production of “School of Rock”, now playing at the Gillian Lynne Theatre on Drury Lane.
With the recent news that Broadway’s production of “School of Rock: The Musical” will close in January, I wanted to see how the West End production is doing almost two years since it opened. It’s easy for a long run to get sloppy (and by easy I mean expected), but with a show like this I knew it would still be a fun time. On this (sweltering hot) summer weekday matinee, I went in fully expecting crowds of kids on their summer break, loud and raucous and annoying, but they were actually fine and as usual it was their parents who didn’t know how to behave. But I put on my blinders and focused on the stage, and I enjoyed myself immensely. The performers are giving it their all, and although they do indeed need a refresher from the director on a few points, it was overall a solid production.
With the recent news that Broadway’s production of “School of Rock: The Musical” will close in January, I wanted to see how the West End production is doing almost two years since it opened. It’s easy for a long run to get sloppy (and by easy I mean expected), but with a show like this I knew it would still be a fun time. On this (sweltering hot) summer weekday matinee, I went in fully expecting crowds of kids on their summer break, loud and raucous and annoying, but they were actually fine and as usual it was their parents who didn’t know how to behave. But I put on my blinders and focused on the stage, and I enjoyed myself immensely. The performers are giving it their all, and although they do indeed need a refresher from the director on a few points, it was overall a solid production.
When you have a great movie like “School of Rock”, with Jack Black’s hilarious, unmatchable star turn, it’s hard to argue that a musical version is necessary. This is true for most movie-to-musical adaptations, like “Frozen”, “Big Fish”, “Mean Girls”, the recent “Pretty Woman”, man I could go on forever with shows where the movie is simply a better version of the story. And early word about the new “Moulin Rouge!” tryout in Boston is also that, while it’s fun, it’s not nearly as affecting and spellbinding and special as the movie. (Can you tell I love that movie?). Triumphs like “The Band’s Visit” show that a stage version’s improving upon a film is definitely the exception to the rule. To win me over, you really have to show that a stage version is worthwhile and not just a money-grab on a familiar property (although of course everything is a money-grab).
Luckily, although I wouldn’t go as far as saying that the musical of “School of Rock” is better than the film, I think that it’s equally enjoyable, although in different ways. Where the movie is tight and well edited (my favorite attribute of anything, which is ironic and fun for you because this site is First Drafts Only haha), the show is a little loose in the cage at times and needed some more cleaning up (and cutting of boring songs). But seeing this story get the stage magic treatment, and especially seeing these kids performing these instruments live, is so special and it makes the musical a winner in my book. And yes, the kids are really performing live, which Andrew Lloyd Webber himself tells you in the opening (recorded) audience greeting.
Why AL Dubs, you ask? Well one of my favorite things about “School of Rock: The Musical” – and the thing that most people don’t realize – is that ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER wrote the music. I don’t think I will ever get over how funny that is. And while it seems like a mismatched composer-to-property pairing, Dubs can ROCK OUT WITH HIS well I’m not going to finish that because he’s a Sir but damn, the man has got some killer rocker vibes. Of course his distinguished works include tons of rocking anthems; I guess I doubted that he still had it in him which was wrong. With ALDubs on the music, we have Glenn Slater on the lyrics, of “The Little Mermaid” (Broadway version, yelch), “Sister Act: The Musical” (decent but unmemorable), and “Leap of Faith” (blahhhh whaaaat) fame, and as you can tell by my parentheticals, I had low expectations for him given his track record. However, most of his lyrics were pretty darn clever, and crammed in so tight that they deserve a re-listen so I can catch all the humor. Well done (finally). The mostly clever lyrics were matched by a mostly clever, often very funny book by – you will never guess this one – Julian Fellowes, as in the creator and sole writer of Downton Abbey. I KNOW. If you had me watch this show without knowing the creative team, and then gave me a list of every single writer in the world and had me put them in order of ‘Who I Think Wrote This’, the guy who wrote Downton Abbey would be all the way at the bottom and the only entry below him would be ‘me but I forgot.’
Speaking of that ‘unmatchable’ performance by Jack Black, the musical Dewey has to be different enough to avoid comparisons. With more immaturity but also maybe more of an obvious heart, this Dewey is a lovable clown. Played now by Stephen Leask, he easily won over the audience even though he shows his sweaty belly a whole lot. Or maybe because he shows his sweaty belly a whole lot, I don’t know, but the man is constantly onstage, constantly jumping on desks and doing backflips???, and constantly belting his lungs out while playing impressive guitar. It’s quite a role. His song “When I Climb to the Top of Mount Rock” was so energetic and baller that I was totally won over by the performer, and I immediately thought ‘oh THIS is why Dewey has a regular alternate’. It took the Broadway production way too long to give the original Dewey, Alex Brightman, an alternate, and instead they pretty much exhausted him for months beyond what should ever be expected of someone (like with Ethan Slater and “Spongebob” this year. JUST GIVE THESE GUYS REGULAR ALTERNATES (AND TELL THE AUDIENCE WHEN THEY WILL BE ON)). Leask is really giving every ounce of everything he has and it’s amazing to see, especially when too many actors in many shows seem to be phoning it in.
The best parts of the show are of course when the incredible kids perform with Leask’s maniacal ball of energy, posing as their substitute teacher but he’s really a bum pretending to be his teacher-best friend. (I’m going to assume you know the story because if you haven’t seen the movie, ya basic. That’s the worst insult. You’re devastated right now.) Three kids rotate in each of the child roles, including Summer, the high-strung perfectionist; Zack, the amazing guitarist whose father is an asshole; Lawrence, the geeky keyboard player who is so sweet; and Sophie, the bassist who literally does duck-face the entire time. My favorite was Freddy, the drummer, a role that is actually shared by two boys and one girl, so I guess the production happily realized that most roles are universal. Luckily, I saw the girl drummer, Annabel Gracey, and she was a badass standout of the whole show. Her command of the stage stood out compared to the other kids, and she tore those drum solos apart. Amazing. Finding kids who can play instruments at this level was a challenge, I’m sure, and finding ones who can also sing and decently act too? They’re not the best singers, and they’re not the best actors, but these kids are impressive, especially when they just get to play. The show really comes alive with such magical energy when they do their big performance numbers. The kids’ straight dramatic line readings need some pace work (too long pauses) and they need to stop looking directly at the conductor for cues, but their talent is undeniable and it’s exciting to watch them perform.
The big performance songs from the movie were kept for the show (including the one that goes “Well you’re not hardcore” I can’t tell from the program what it’s called, and “School of Rock”, their big Battle number), which was a smart decision considering new songs for those big moments would have probably been disappointing to the audience. And they are total bangers so why not keep them?! They’re matched by exciting new songs like the aforementioned “Mount Rock”, “You’re in the Band”, and “Stick It to the Man”, bangers all. There’s a nice “When I Grow Up”- inspired number where the kids feel sad about how shitty their parents are, which is even better in its slightly changed reprise directed to Dewey.
But the adult scenes are hella boring, and sometimes infuriating. The former includes the introduction to the prep school by the principal Ms. Mullins (Rosanna Hyland), which seems to be reprised 100x. Honestly we just don’t need that much time devoted to the other teachers; it adds nothing. The latter includes the scene where Dewey first sees the kids playing (classical) music. Ms. Mullins is running the class, and as they play, she sings the Queen of the Night aria from “The Magic Flute” (you know the aria). I was sitting there just like…is this shit for real? Hyland is a fantastic vocalist but it is so inappropriate and unnecessary for this show. It’s so infuriating because it seemed clearly shoved in there for Sierra Boggess (Broadway’s original Ms. Mullins), an incredible singer (though often very dull), to have something more to do in this thankless role. I guess the creators were thinking, ‘how will we get Boggess to do this non-lead role with just one decent (though again too long and unnecessary) Act II song, oh I know, we will give her a Mozart aria…? OH AND THEN LET’S HAVE HER SING IT AGAIN AT CURTAIN CALL. GIVE US TONYS PLEASE.’ I mean this is really the dumbest part of the whole show and I can’t believe it’s still happening. Her Mullins is kind of directed poorly I think too, all strict and boring with no nuance, so her transformation at the end comes out of nowhere, whereas Joan Cusack in the movie was mature but you could tell she was kind of adorable and very curious about Dewey. The only role more thankless than this one is that of Patti, played by Sarah Silverman in the movie. This Patti is a total shrew and all she does is yell, so much so that when Ned finally tells her off at the end, the audience cheers. I really hate everything about the character, because I really don’t want a packed room to cheer when a man berates his girlfriend and tells her to shut up, but I also wanted her to shut up.
I was also weirded out by the gay jokes. As you know from the movie, there is a little boy who is gay, and his personality is a flamboyant stereotype. Even though the movie was from another era when it comes to representations of gay characters, and so you’d expect the representation today to be more normalized and less played for laughs, the musical dials it up 500%. I was shocked. It doesn’t help that British people are still apparently not comfortable with homosexuality (in a tiny move that I loved, one kids’ parents are two men. When the teacher greets them as “Mr. & Mr. Stephens” or whatever, just simply greeting them, the audience treated that like it was a laugh line. Horrifying), but using this boy to get big laughs just because he says “Barbra Streisand” or likes glitter felt way outdated and offensive. His character can be fun and super funny without being insulting.
So how is “School of Rock” doing? They do need to clean up a few things – the pacing at many points was off, especially on the kids’ deliveries but also with the adults, who also need to work on their accents. I wish they could still make edits (like cutting most of the grown-ups’ songs and scenes), but alas this show has been frozen for years now. Even so, it’s overall a wonderful time at the theatre and you can’t help but enjoy yourself. Watching the band perform live is exciting and the vibe is so happy and exuberant. And while the movie may better, this is a worthwhile adaptation and a guaranteed good time.
Luckily, although I wouldn’t go as far as saying that the musical of “School of Rock” is better than the film, I think that it’s equally enjoyable, although in different ways. Where the movie is tight and well edited (my favorite attribute of anything, which is ironic and fun for you because this site is First Drafts Only haha), the show is a little loose in the cage at times and needed some more cleaning up (and cutting of boring songs). But seeing this story get the stage magic treatment, and especially seeing these kids performing these instruments live, is so special and it makes the musical a winner in my book. And yes, the kids are really performing live, which Andrew Lloyd Webber himself tells you in the opening (recorded) audience greeting.
Why AL Dubs, you ask? Well one of my favorite things about “School of Rock: The Musical” – and the thing that most people don’t realize – is that ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER wrote the music. I don’t think I will ever get over how funny that is. And while it seems like a mismatched composer-to-property pairing, Dubs can ROCK OUT WITH HIS well I’m not going to finish that because he’s a Sir but damn, the man has got some killer rocker vibes. Of course his distinguished works include tons of rocking anthems; I guess I doubted that he still had it in him which was wrong. With ALDubs on the music, we have Glenn Slater on the lyrics, of “The Little Mermaid” (Broadway version, yelch), “Sister Act: The Musical” (decent but unmemorable), and “Leap of Faith” (blahhhh whaaaat) fame, and as you can tell by my parentheticals, I had low expectations for him given his track record. However, most of his lyrics were pretty darn clever, and crammed in so tight that they deserve a re-listen so I can catch all the humor. Well done (finally). The mostly clever lyrics were matched by a mostly clever, often very funny book by – you will never guess this one – Julian Fellowes, as in the creator and sole writer of Downton Abbey. I KNOW. If you had me watch this show without knowing the creative team, and then gave me a list of every single writer in the world and had me put them in order of ‘Who I Think Wrote This’, the guy who wrote Downton Abbey would be all the way at the bottom and the only entry below him would be ‘me but I forgot.’
Speaking of that ‘unmatchable’ performance by Jack Black, the musical Dewey has to be different enough to avoid comparisons. With more immaturity but also maybe more of an obvious heart, this Dewey is a lovable clown. Played now by Stephen Leask, he easily won over the audience even though he shows his sweaty belly a whole lot. Or maybe because he shows his sweaty belly a whole lot, I don’t know, but the man is constantly onstage, constantly jumping on desks and doing backflips???, and constantly belting his lungs out while playing impressive guitar. It’s quite a role. His song “When I Climb to the Top of Mount Rock” was so energetic and baller that I was totally won over by the performer, and I immediately thought ‘oh THIS is why Dewey has a regular alternate’. It took the Broadway production way too long to give the original Dewey, Alex Brightman, an alternate, and instead they pretty much exhausted him for months beyond what should ever be expected of someone (like with Ethan Slater and “Spongebob” this year. JUST GIVE THESE GUYS REGULAR ALTERNATES (AND TELL THE AUDIENCE WHEN THEY WILL BE ON)). Leask is really giving every ounce of everything he has and it’s amazing to see, especially when too many actors in many shows seem to be phoning it in.
The best parts of the show are of course when the incredible kids perform with Leask’s maniacal ball of energy, posing as their substitute teacher but he’s really a bum pretending to be his teacher-best friend. (I’m going to assume you know the story because if you haven’t seen the movie, ya basic. That’s the worst insult. You’re devastated right now.) Three kids rotate in each of the child roles, including Summer, the high-strung perfectionist; Zack, the amazing guitarist whose father is an asshole; Lawrence, the geeky keyboard player who is so sweet; and Sophie, the bassist who literally does duck-face the entire time. My favorite was Freddy, the drummer, a role that is actually shared by two boys and one girl, so I guess the production happily realized that most roles are universal. Luckily, I saw the girl drummer, Annabel Gracey, and she was a badass standout of the whole show. Her command of the stage stood out compared to the other kids, and she tore those drum solos apart. Amazing. Finding kids who can play instruments at this level was a challenge, I’m sure, and finding ones who can also sing and decently act too? They’re not the best singers, and they’re not the best actors, but these kids are impressive, especially when they just get to play. The show really comes alive with such magical energy when they do their big performance numbers. The kids’ straight dramatic line readings need some pace work (too long pauses) and they need to stop looking directly at the conductor for cues, but their talent is undeniable and it’s exciting to watch them perform.
The big performance songs from the movie were kept for the show (including the one that goes “Well you’re not hardcore” I can’t tell from the program what it’s called, and “School of Rock”, their big Battle number), which was a smart decision considering new songs for those big moments would have probably been disappointing to the audience. And they are total bangers so why not keep them?! They’re matched by exciting new songs like the aforementioned “Mount Rock”, “You’re in the Band”, and “Stick It to the Man”, bangers all. There’s a nice “When I Grow Up”- inspired number where the kids feel sad about how shitty their parents are, which is even better in its slightly changed reprise directed to Dewey.
But the adult scenes are hella boring, and sometimes infuriating. The former includes the introduction to the prep school by the principal Ms. Mullins (Rosanna Hyland), which seems to be reprised 100x. Honestly we just don’t need that much time devoted to the other teachers; it adds nothing. The latter includes the scene where Dewey first sees the kids playing (classical) music. Ms. Mullins is running the class, and as they play, she sings the Queen of the Night aria from “The Magic Flute” (you know the aria). I was sitting there just like…is this shit for real? Hyland is a fantastic vocalist but it is so inappropriate and unnecessary for this show. It’s so infuriating because it seemed clearly shoved in there for Sierra Boggess (Broadway’s original Ms. Mullins), an incredible singer (though often very dull), to have something more to do in this thankless role. I guess the creators were thinking, ‘how will we get Boggess to do this non-lead role with just one decent (though again too long and unnecessary) Act II song, oh I know, we will give her a Mozart aria…? OH AND THEN LET’S HAVE HER SING IT AGAIN AT CURTAIN CALL. GIVE US TONYS PLEASE.’ I mean this is really the dumbest part of the whole show and I can’t believe it’s still happening. Her Mullins is kind of directed poorly I think too, all strict and boring with no nuance, so her transformation at the end comes out of nowhere, whereas Joan Cusack in the movie was mature but you could tell she was kind of adorable and very curious about Dewey. The only role more thankless than this one is that of Patti, played by Sarah Silverman in the movie. This Patti is a total shrew and all she does is yell, so much so that when Ned finally tells her off at the end, the audience cheers. I really hate everything about the character, because I really don’t want a packed room to cheer when a man berates his girlfriend and tells her to shut up, but I also wanted her to shut up.
I was also weirded out by the gay jokes. As you know from the movie, there is a little boy who is gay, and his personality is a flamboyant stereotype. Even though the movie was from another era when it comes to representations of gay characters, and so you’d expect the representation today to be more normalized and less played for laughs, the musical dials it up 500%. I was shocked. It doesn’t help that British people are still apparently not comfortable with homosexuality (in a tiny move that I loved, one kids’ parents are two men. When the teacher greets them as “Mr. & Mr. Stephens” or whatever, just simply greeting them, the audience treated that like it was a laugh line. Horrifying), but using this boy to get big laughs just because he says “Barbra Streisand” or likes glitter felt way outdated and offensive. His character can be fun and super funny without being insulting.
So how is “School of Rock” doing? They do need to clean up a few things – the pacing at many points was off, especially on the kids’ deliveries but also with the adults, who also need to work on their accents. I wish they could still make edits (like cutting most of the grown-ups’ songs and scenes), but alas this show has been frozen for years now. Even so, it’s overall a wonderful time at the theatre and you can’t help but enjoy yourself. Watching the band perform live is exciting and the vibe is so happy and exuberant. And while the movie may better, this is a worthwhile adaptation and a guaranteed good time.
INFORMATION
If you are going alone, may I suggest/demand that you get seat G30 in the stalls. For only $35 (that’s pounddollars), I had a ROW TO MYSELF. It was the best. The side stalls sections are roughly triangle shaped, with the widest part/longest rows at the stage and tapering backwards until you get to the one-seat row, and it was the best treat ever! No noisy neighbors! No elbow jabs! Honestly it was the best seat ever. You can see here what it looks like: Seating Chart http://www.theatremonkey.com/GILLIANLYNNEstalls.htm
ALW renamed this theatre after famed choreographer (of “Cats” and “Phantom” to name two of her endless achievements) earlier this summer, and then like right after Lynne passed away. She was 92 but I think the moral ‘don’t let ALW name theatres after you’ still stands.
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The Summer Season at Pitlochry Festival Theatre
Yes I am aware summer is over, I’m cold.
This past summer we at Ldeezhy had the pleasure of seeing three shows at the Pitlochry Festival Theatre, a lovely (and recently refurbished) venue that all tourists and residents of Perthshire, Scotland should visit when they visit the most beautiful part of the UK (hopefully not for long! Not that other places will take that crown, I mean because it won’t be part of the UK anymore, sink that ship yourselves Tories). We started with Noises Off, followed by Little Women, and ended with Private Lives. Some pretty classic shiz up in here! Getting through this backlog of posts y’all!
The PFT is a repertory theatre, with a resident company, so you see the same actors regularly. Rep theatres are so interesting, because someone will be amazing in one show and then completely miscast in another, but I guess it makes sense here because the pool is smaller? It kind of reminds me of high school drama club in that way. Well and also because they’re doing Noises Off, which we all did right! Okay my school is the only one that didn’t but I know yours did. My best friend was the stage manager! So let’s start with that beloved comedy classic!
Noises Off
Noises Off is one of the few shows that I don’t think I can get sick of. We recently saw the latest West End revival in…my god it was 2019, I guess not so recent, JFC. But that was sensational, because a) Matthew Morrison was sitting behind me (THAT’S EXCITING!) and b) it was directed by Jeremy Herrin, who directed the 2016 Broadway revival that cannot scientifically ever be topped, it was 104% perfection even before accounting for Megan Hilty’s performance in a role no one knew could actually be that funny. Having seen Herrin’s precise, flawless direction on the big stages TWICE, I was thus spoiled for civilian work. The PFT’s production was hilarious, tons of fun, but the direction proved a bit sloppy. In that third act, when there’s very little dialogue but tons of chaotic action and stuff falling and people arguing but with their body language only, it needs to be directed and executed precisely so that the audience has a clue what’s going on. It was a bit too messy. If I didn’t know what was going on, I would have been a little mad that it was so unclear. But not actually mad, because even with the wee messiness, it’s impossible not to keep smiling so hard it hurts your damn face through any production of this show. Also this ensem confirmed that possibly my favorite line in all of theatre is “If it wasn’t attached to my neck I’d forget what day it was.” I mean, I’ve heard that line a lot, but I COULD NOT STOP laughing this time. The best! I also adored that there were two little kids up front who could not possibly have understood all the jokes but they were having the time of their lives.
Little Women
I hate to give her even more power over me, but Greta Gerwig has spoiled me for all versions of Little Women that aren’t hers. Her framing of what Jo was probably forced to include in her book vs. what was probably/definitely true of its author is simply too brilliant to ever deviate from again. When Jo all of a sudden finds love that isn’t Laurie, you just KNOW it’s Louisa being like ‘ugh you bastards want her to find a man, here you go, half-assed plot!’ So to see it portrayed straightforwardly feels wrong, and always has, but especially after seeing Saoirse’s wee smirk at us for even thinking for a second that it could have been true for Jo, or Louisa, whatever/whoever/both. But aside from that, this play verzh was very pleasant, though the whole repertory theatre company thing means that some parts were muhmuhmuhmiscast. I’m okay saying that and not feeling mean because the worst cast person in this, so wooden and strange that we were literally like what what what is happening, was good in a different show, so it’s very much not a talent thing. Minor faults in an otherwise fun time. Also shout out for making us realize how f-ing hilarious (unintentionally) some lines are, like when Jo exclaims to fake-professor man about how much ‘boys just love to go around nutting!’ We nudge each other a lot in shows (no talking!) but this might have been the pinnacle.
Private Lives
This was my first time seeing this Noel Coward classic live! What fun what ho! Noel has a cheeky good time with a terrible couple who makes terrible decisions. At the start of the play, the couple isn’t a couple. They have gotten divorced, and they’re each on their honeymoon with new people – and they somehow ended up with hotel rooms next to each other (with balconies, apparently, that don’t have any barrier between them??? security risk security risk! I would have to move hundo p). Their new spouses are nice plot devices, but you know from the get-go that the two terriburs are meant to destroy these new marriages and end up together again, even though they can’t go five minutes without fighting. What a lark! The cast of four? no five! there’s a housekeeper! does a great job of painting terrible people you can’t stand in different ways. The central couple nails the whole shibang, but my favorite performance was that from Nalan Burgess as the terrible man’s new wife for a hot second (I am too tired to go look up names of characters) who does some of the best theatrical over-the-top wailing I’ve ever heard. I was HYSTERICAL, her crying was so good and so big and it kept getting bigger and funnier the longer it went on. Just excellent work. Overall, it was a strong production, possibly the tightest of the 3? I mean Noel Coward is always a good time, it’s not like it’s Pinter.
INFORMATION
The Pitlochry Festival Theatre is an enormous space that I don’t think could ever be filled even if everyone in town during the height of tourist season came, so there’s usually room to move around away from people, which is the greatest thing you could ever ask for when out in public. The theatre went through a recent refurb and it shows, except for the bathrooms which didn’t get the memo, which is a shame but there’s never really a line. The bar has vegan treats (but not ice cream) and little water fountain spouts. All in all a fantastic theatre. Stay tuned for another (actually recent) show coming later this week!
The Picture of Dorian Gray: Good Concept for Modernization, Shaky Execution
The first five or ten minutes of the new streaming theatrical production “The Picture of Dorian Gray” are great. Captivating, stylized, and intriguing, the beginning switches between Zoom-style interviews of Joanna Lumley’s and Alfred Enoch’s characters as they share what they know about this story to Stephen Fry, investigating. It makes you curious and you want them to say more about whatever this tragic situation was and you’re excited to piece it all together. It’s an excellent start.
And then you meet Dorian (Fionn Whitehead), and it falls flat. The direction (and overall treatment) of him plus overly long scenes, sloooow conversations between him and other characters, and disappointing lack of clarity about the whole selling your soul thing all squander the splashy positivity of the opening and turn a colorful opportunity into an unfortunately drab and sluggish production.
The intent for the modernization of this classic story is decent: Instead of young hot man-about-town-Dorian being young and hot, getting a nice portrait painted of himself, and wishing for the nice portrait to age instead of his physical being, this Dorian gets a social media filter that makes his online appearance always young and beautiful. His friend Basil (Russell Tovey) makes him a special device for his phone that makes him look glowy and stuff online. So far, okay, sounds good.
My main problem (okay one of my three main problems) is that it’s entirely unclear what Basil knows about the cost, what Dorian expects it to be, and, for the love of god, WHY. (And any argument that uses answers from the original text are invalid.) Basil gives it to Dorian on his birthday, and asks Dorian what he would do for this magical* device. He says there’s a cost but never says what it is, and actual physical deterioration is really something you should make clear to the buyer. Dorian says something like “I would sell my soul” but is he aware that that apparently means “I’ll be chill with looking like a decaying corpse in about a week”? It’s unclear whether Basil is aware of this too.
*First main problem subsection b: This device of magical filters…exists. It’s called filters. We can already download and use filters and apps that make you look amazing and shiny without our physical body decaying and bleeding out the ears. Yes, his YouTube channel becomes successful too, but a) it’s unclear whether that was part of the deal or Basil was just assuming that with glowing selfies his friend would become popular online, and b) honestly with the Q Anon-style videos he starts posting (out of literally nowhere, another issue), he’d amass a large following without the device. There’s too much that I don’t buy or don’t understand about this deal that even a few sharper bits of dialogue would fix.
My second main problem: the pacing is horrendous. The Facetimes between Dorian and Sibyl, between Dorian and Harry (especially the epilogue), the birthday scene between Dorian and Basil, they all gooo ooooon fooooreverrrrr without much reason for it. If the show was a good 20 minutes shorter from cutting all the unnecessary pauses and silent stares, it would work better. There are so many editing decisions that went unmade. Like the ‘Social Media Safety’ web series character that Basil invents to try to assuage his guilt: why are we seeing this at all, let alone ENTIRE INTERNET SAFETY LECTURES instead of a few brief clips? (Okay maybe 25 minutes, actually.) And the introduction of Sibyl (Emma McDonald) showing like a dozen of her Instagram videos – we’d get what you were trying to say with like, 3. (So that’s 30 minutes.)
The third issue: Fionn looks like a normal fine-looking person that you can believe exists in real life, not some kind of one-in-a-million movie-star gorgeous where you would drop your jaw and ruin your life if you had the chance. He’s a normal kid. We’re told that this Dorian is so incredibly handsome and so ungodly charming that everyone falls in love with him and yet Dorian gets exactly zero chances to show any of that supposed charm. I mean, literally every. other. character says that they are madly wildly hopelessly in love with him, in some cases so much that they destroy their families. but like, WHY. and like, DON’T. Dorian was never given a chance to display any sort of charm to explain…any of it. When the foundation of the whole show rests on him being super hot and charming and he’s neither, that’s hard to come back from.
Apart from these crucial aspects, there were some nice bits. Alfred and Joanna’s scenes were mostly always entertaining, possibly why they are the most famous ones. I loved how much I hated Alfred’s mustache and how fake his accent sounded even though he’s British. And Joanna is always fun to watch, especially in her travel shows. I really liked the Great Gatsby-esque design for the screen cuts too, and Alfred’s study was amazing (except the carpet didn’t go).
I’m just disappointed that the updated concept failed to capitalize on its promise. It’s a good idea to show how much young people value their online appearance, but – even in a year where you’re not seeing anyone in real life – would you still pay for a better online look with bleeding out the ears? Also, if the message was that ugly thoughts show up on the face (as the end seemed to want to say), why did his face start uglying before the whole conspiracy business, and why did he *start* having these ugly thoughts? So much of the action felt unsupported. Also, I’m heavily confused about the end: Text on the screen explains that authorities found him next to the smashed chip and “recognized what it was”. Wha…what?
One more thing: what the heck is Sphinx?
The Picture of Dorian Gray is available to stream from March 16 – 31, and is co-produced by the Barn Theatre, Lawrence Batley Theatre, New Wolsey Theatre, Oxford Playhouse and Theatr Clwyd.
