“Macbeth” at the Royal Shakespeare Company: Stop Trying to Modernize Billy and Just Let the Genius Be

​After the disappointing (and sometimes infuriating) Spring and Summer, Fall was a gift from god. I adored every single second of it. Okay maybe not every single second but the vast majority of the time I was ecstatic. It felt absolutely perfect, maybe because I so badly wanted it to be but also because it was just so good. Instead of Fall, it could be called 100 Minutes of Epic Crying Fits. So much was so beautiful that I sobbed in that choky hyperventilating way. But that’s good! That’s great, really. That means it hit me how I wanted it to. 

In the very first shot, we learn that Lorelai actually did go to the Pacific Crest Trail to do ‘Wild’! I’m kind of shocked that they actually had her go, but I am so glad she did. No matter how out of character some people thought her announcement to Luke at the end of Summer was, I thought her coming to terms with her unhappiness was necessary, and this trip was thus necessary. While obviously something so purely outdoorsy and fitness based is out of character, I think it makes sense that she was at a point that necessitated some kind of change, so I’m glad she saw it through (well, as much as she needed to).
 
And, to get her back extremely into character as we know her, Lorelai cannot pack her backpack in any way. What on earth is she bringing? I mean I overpack always but not to this extent! Where things are popping out of pockets if they get an inch of air, and where she has to duct tape last minute additions to the outside. Like, pretty simple task, Grown Up Lady. But so her.
 
I really enjoyed seeing how regular people reacted to Lorelai out on the trail. Well, out on the lobby to the trail, I believe it is called in proper lingo. Having all the female hikers brought there by ‘Wild’ was pretty hilarious, as was the division that developed between ‘book’ or ‘movie’ followers. I liked all of that. I thought it was adorable that Jason Ritter, Lauren Graham’s costar from “Parenthood”, was the park ranger who informed all the ‘Wild’ ladies that there was a storm coming and they should delay starting till the next day because they’d prob totes die. This also gave us a night to see Lorelai interacting with women her own age, which if you think about it we have not seen at all this entire revival yet. Sookie’s missing, and the only other person who maybe counts is Sutton Foster but she’s reeeeeally not a regular person! 

OH.
 
HOLD PLEASE

Before we continue with Fall, I must address a HUGE OVERSIGHT I just realized from my Summer review. Um, Sutton Foster and Christian Borle, the stars of the neverending, never good Stars Hollow The Musical who have 4 Tonys between them, used to be married!! I forgot to mention that! Isn’t that wild? They are friendly enough evidently, since they are playing a married couple in the musical, but I feel like it’s either cruel or hilarious to make them do such a long scene together. Okay that’s done.

I only realized on second viewing that Rory’s old timey computer had been hacked by the Life & Death Brigade. When she gets to the Stars Hollow Gazette office and turns it on, it says “Get Ready” for a few minutes and she asks Old Man Colleague if he was messing around with it. That’s the same time that Kirk’s pig runs by outside with a sandwich board over it that says “Kick up a rumpus”. So, now it’s obvious that both of those were signs from the LDB boys…which is nonsense. At first I just thought her old computer said Get Ready when it was getting ready, because that’s not weird to assume. And I figured the sign on the pig was something Kirk was doing. I did not think the Life and Death Brigade at all, even though I knew the boys would appear this episode. You might be able to answer how they got to Stars Hollow so early and what on earth they were doing with themselves all day before they made themselves known to Rory that night, or how they broke into the Gazette office which is super duper locked all the time, but how on earth did they know how to hack her computer so that was the welcome message? Just because they went to Yale doesn’t mean they learned any skills, especially for non-computer majors, especially for a computer that is 30 years outdated. Did they pay someone who knows how to do it? I guess I just answered my own big question. Of course they did.

In the next scene, we get another wonderful Jess and Luke scene. Milo is really an MVP this revival, especially acting-wise. His post-Gilmore career has really made him a great subtle actor. He exudes so much warmth, well at least compared to his character in the regular series. He’s making it so clear that Jess has matured, and into a really decent person no less. As usual, his scenes with Luke are so touching. I love how he immediately notices that something is wrong with Luke, and gets him to confide about what’s going on with Lorelai. It’s a wonderful conversation between the two, with Jess still making cracks about Lorelai et al. but letting it come from a place of concern and care instead of jackassery. 

Back on the ranch (what I assume all California motels refer to themselves as), Lorelai bonds over a campfire with the book club, who, like any good book club, have boxed wine from Trader Joe’s. If they didn’t also get peanut butter pretzels from TJ’s we could not be friends. Lorelai tells the girls her story in a perfect conversation. She says her name and where she’s from and I got a little choked up, but soon I was cracking up as the others tried to get her story out of her, the reasons behind her decision to do Wild. (You can’t hike unless you’re seriously f-ed up.) “You’re divorced”, they guess, to which she responds, “No I’m not divorced…Well actually I am divorced but not to the guy I’m currently with.” I thought this was such a brilliant way to address the fact that when we left her in Season 7, she was a recent divorcee, but how everyone kind of brushed that whole episode aside! It was quick and it totally checks out that she would mention it to these people asking about her marital status, and I loved it. But the scene kept getting better, with all the girls guessing her problem, calling out things about Luke like “He cheats!” “He’s dumb!” “He drinks! And he smells!” to which Lorelai responds with a quick fire “Wow I sure know how to pick ‘em.” I loved that!
 
After Lorelai admits to the strangers that she feels lost as the world spins around her, we cut from that great scene to a MUSIC VIDEO about SERIAL KILLERS. Or a way too long segment of the Life and Death Brigade’s gallivanting with Rory. I don’t usually speak out loud to the TV (contrary to what you probably assumed), but when Rory was walking through the town at night and everything was creepy, lights were turning out from storefronts, and somehow a raven spoke to her, when she entered the Gazette offices with the door ajar I actually said out loud, “Is Rory going to die?!” I would not have been surprised. I was so scared! I really thought she was going to die. Again, I’m pretty dumb and did not think LDB. But of course it was these jackasses – Colin (ass), Finn (omg he got so hot), Robert (seriously? He had one scene in the series)….and Logan. Yep, that was not goodbye in Summer. He flew from London, and gathered all his friends (and Robert), and brought everyone to Stars Hollow Connecticut to take Rory out for one last big hurrah before he MARRIES HIS FIANCEE. He is still getting married and they are still having an affair. 

Before we get into all that Rory and Logan talk, we need to talk about this ridiculous music video for these privileged rich assholes painting the town red and buying up tango clubs in drunken fits of spending. First of all, this is way too long. Second, it is way too stylistically absurd, especially in the Gilmore world. This is a very strange film student’s very strange 10 minute short film for his final in avant garde bullshit masquerading as art. I get that the Palladinos had a crazily expanded budget to work with and just had NO IDEA how to spend that money, but an extended sequence filmed on the set of Moulin Rouge, apparently, was not the answer that fits into the Gilmore world. More importantly, while we always have accepted that the Life and Death Brigade does outlandish dumb acts, those acts have always been doable. They do not perform magical acts just because they’d fit in their budget. While we wouldn’t do some of the things they’ve done, their actions have always been humanly possible. So why change that now! How did they make the lights of storefront signs go off when Rory walked under them when they were across the town square? HOW DID THEY MAKE A BIRD TALK? How did they play golf on rooftops lining the town square without getting caught, and without causing immediately noticeable damage when they hit the golf balls off the top of buildings? Like seriously this is NONSENSE.
 
At least they start talking when they get to the Moulin Rouge, I mean the tango club. Because for the entire preceding sequence, they were filming a music video to “I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends”, doing artsy walks in formation and pensive photo sessions for the camera as they walked on the rooftops. Ughhhhhh. At the club, we get some decent lines from the three boys as they hit on waitresses and remind us that they are really truly terrible overprivileged rich boys. Away from them, of course, in a secluded VIP section of the club with a beaded curtain barrier, sit Rory and Logan as they talk about how it was terrible how they ended things and so he had to come back and say goodbye properly, which means both of them forgetting their acknowledgement of their immorality in the previous episode and sleeping together again. Jeez louise. He also offers her one of his family’s beach homes so she could write her book there. His family never uses it so no one would know. And even though his family hasn’t been in years, they still have a cook and a maid on the regs. Cool Huntzbergers you are cool and relatable to humans!
 
The gang makes their way (god I hope none of them drove) to New Hampshire, to an inn that they bought out for the night. This inn is clearly the Dragonfly, right? Just redecorated? Unless all inns have the same floor plan. Logan and Rory immediately go upstairs and we see them again in the morning, as Rory stares wistfully out the window while Amy Sherman Palladino shows a shirtless Matt Czuchry as long as she could get away with. Logan says he has a flight at noon and suggest they get breakfast at a nearby diner. Listen, so there’s no way these people are early risers, especially after the crazy and late night they just had. I would conservatively say they stopped partying at 3am, the most conservative estimate possible, I think. So there’s no way they are easing out of bed any earlier than 9am. What’s he doing if he has a flight at noon! I have a flight at noon tomorrow and I feel like I have to leave now to make it! I mean I’m sure he doesn’t have to go through security or check in or anything because money but still, they are in the middle of nowhere!
 
I can’t spend too much time thinking about that because we are quickly given Logan and Rory’s actual goodbye, the real one this time. This marks the first time ever that Rory’s crying made me cry. Actually it’s the first time Rory’s crying was believable and natural. See, e.g. the therapist in college. But when she started crying saying goodbye to Logan in the room and tried to brush it off, it was realistic and sad, even though they are terrible people. It doesn’t matter right now because this LDB goodbye scene is surprisingly touching. Despite it being so unbelievably annoying in theory, the Wizard of Oz-goodbye to all the boys actually made me cry. Of course I cackled when Rory said to Finn “I think I’ll miss you most of all”, and Finn replied, “Stay photogenic.” He is the best one. In their first demonstration of sensibility, the boys leave so Logan and Rory can say goodbye properly. He puts his hands out and takes a mental picture of her, and when we realize that he’s doing that to solidify how he will always remember her because this is actually it, I got teary again. “Why can’t these two idiots just be together!” The sentimentality of it all made me ask that. When I realized that they could indeed be together, but Logan doesn’t want to rock his family’s dynastic plan and risk losing the billions, it’s less sad. But still, what an end to Logan. (Or so we think.)
 
Back to Lorelai in the woods, she is attempting again to start her hike. This time, a new “Parenthood” costar is the park ranger checking permits, Peter Krause – Lauren Graham’s real-life long-term boyfriend!! I ADORED their extended banter about how she couldn’t find her permit because it was so flinging flanging obvious that Peter was trying to not to laugh. I wonder how many takes it took them, they look like they just want to start making out. It’s really funny to watch his face. He’s like “Wow you are good on this show! But let me do my job!”
 
Of course she can’t find her permit because she refuses to open her Pack of Doom, so instead she tries to find food, and ostensibly coffee. Coffee coffee coffee! Everything is closed though so she walks around nature – because she is still near nature, it’s not all hidden behind the park ranger. She chances upon this beautiful clearing of mountains and valleys and it’s just like a perfect green postcard, and apparently that’s all she needed out of this trip because she immediately has some sort of awakening. Deep breaths, closed eyes, and she’s on the verge of tears. She realizes something and immediately gets out her phone. I was wondering who she was calling, Luke or Rory. Which one will it be, Luke or Rory? When the camera cut to Emily answering the phone I was shocked. Shocked! Emily is sleeping and answers “Hello?” Without an introduction, Lorelai tells her a story of when she was 13 or so. It’s a long, meandering but lovely story about how she stole a shirt from her mother and how her boyfriend broke up with her very meanly, so she left school and went to the mall, where she ran into Richard, who never goes to the mall. It was pure luck that they ran into each other when Lorelai was emotionally crushed. Her usually stoic father, seeing his daughter so upset, instead of grounding her or yelling at her, he bought her a pretzel. At this point is when I (sometimes slow to the uptake) realized, she is calling Emily to finally tell her the story she should have told at the funeral. She finally thought of the perfect story to honor her father and Emily realizes it too and is shown smiling through her tears and it’s so beautiful. It clearly means a lot to Emily, and the long rift seems to be mending.

Apparently that’s all Lorelai needed because when they hang up, she drops her pack by the dumpster and goes home. We cut to Luke and PAUL ANKA DOGGIE in the kitchen, as Luke tries in vain to withstand the pressure of giving in to that ADORABLE DOGGIE FACE, but of course no one can say no to Paul Anka Doggie so Luke drops a steak onto the floor for him. An entire steak. I adored this little interaction, mainly because Paul Anka is so flipping cute and he so doggie and it’s funny that Luke has fallen in love with him too, as all humans would. Lorelai rushes through the door, and Scott Patterson, in his best work in the revival, clearly shows Luke as being happy to see her but also terrified of what she’s going to tell him. As we’ve seen, he expects that whenever she returned from the trip, she would break up with him. It’s not true, but Luke’s belief in this is what he needed, because it shocked him into admitting that she is the most important part of his life and he would do anything and everything necessary to keep her in his life. Finally, my god finally, Luke opens up about things he’s thinking and feeling and tells Lorelai. Thank the f-ing lord. I didn’t believe all the things he said in his exuberant rant – like the stuff about starting a franchise if that’s what she wants him to do – but the emotion and pitch of this outburst was wonderful. I LOVED when he kept going after she interjected and said how they’d been through so much already and had to watch each other have relationships with other people: “There was Rachel, and Max, and Christopher –I had to watch you MARRY that guy and it was awful!” It seemed really important that Luke finally address the marriage, and to have it be in his most honest moment was right. And of course it was wonderful that Lorelai finally stopped him and said what she was really going to say, that they should get married, and that it should be that weekend. It was SO FLIPPING CUTE.
 
We cut to Emily at a vacation home in Nantucket with the new boyfriend (ish) and Berta’s extended family, all the kids and cousins and everything. I’m obsessed with how fine Emily is with the maid’s entire family living with her wherever she goes. There are at least a dozen latinos around and it’s adorable, even though Emily still has no idea how to communicate with them. It shows how much she’s softening and realizing she needs warmth and just other people in their lives.
 
Of course Emily listens to the Bernadette ‘Gypsy’. It might have been a little too on the nose, but I love that she listens to the quintessential crazy overbearing mother show when she is such an important crazy overbearing mother in all of pop culture. And she would never be down with Patti LuPone’s (though she’s my favorite). Emily would find her too loud and brassy. (Hello pot?)
 
Of course Rory is going to write the book at her grandparents’ house. The old instrumental music that scored the original series starts playing, so we know this shit is going to be saaad. Rory walks through the empty house ‘Fun Home’ style, seeing the ghosts of all her memories as she looks back on scenes from the original series replaying. I actually wish we had a bit more of these memories replaying as we watched with Rory. It’s a cheap ploy to get me to cry more but it’s working damn well. And of course she isn’t going to write just anywhere; she’s going to write under her portrait, in Richard’s study. We know what’s coming, and when she opens the door to his study, the camera shifts from her to the desk, where a hologram of Richard is sitting there writing. It is so well done, and so brutal. Brutal! Oh man I have not cried for so long, so hard. Rory takes her seat and opens her computer and that Sam Phillips music is still playing, the “la la las” and it’s wonderful.
 
It might have been all the emotion in my body running up my throat and into my eyes, but I cracked up so hard at the next scene, where Lorelai and Michel are interviewing his potential replacements at the Inn. They are being pretty mean to the candidates, but Michel is so good that it’s funny. He asks the first Aryan guy why he left his last job, and was it to play Rolf in several productions of The Sound of Music. But his questions to the next candidate win the day and I shout-laughed. “So, your name is Molly….” Michel deadpanned, “….why?” He is too good.
 
Lorelai, in a fetching hat, walks through the town and sees that the Old Folks Home that is also a Monastery?? has moving trucks outside. The nuns inside give Lorelai the inside scoop, and it’s clear that Lorelai is thinking of buying it so she can expand the Inn and give Michel more to run.
 
We cut to nighttime in Lorelai’s house, and Paul Anka Doggie So Cute is opening her bedroom door and motioning for her to go see Rory, who is home and who is WAKING LORELAI UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. She came with the first three chapters of her book, and I remember, oh, they haven’t talked since their fight about the book in the cemetery. Jesus Rory! Who wakes someone up in the middle of the night, first of all, and second of all it’s to make her READ?
 
Luckily, they make up, because Rory brought Chinese food and gets out ice cream and Pop Tarts. Rory shows her mom the book section and asks her just to read it, and if she doesn’t like it she will stop writing. The manuscript is titled “The Gilmore Girls”. Lorelai reluctantly agrees to read it, and Rory gets donuts because their spread isn’t disgusting enough.
 
The next scene is absolutely spectacular. Emily is sitting, bored out of her mind, at a D.A.R. meeting. This is no meeting like we’ve seen before – all the top-ranking members (led by Barb!) are sitting at a long table facing a young blonde trophy wife who is being interviewed for membership. They seem like they are being nice to her, but in that cutting way. Emily has clearly had enough of this bullshit, and says so. No, really, she literally starts shouting “Bullshit!” She lets all her pent up D.A.R. frustration out and tells the trophy wife that this is all bullshit and that these women have been mocking her to her face but in a way she couldn’t call out (or even notice). Emily rails on about all the ‘bullshit’ the D.A.R. does and how it’s all bullshit and how she cannot take any more of this bullshit and she’s out. I’m pretty sure she said told the applicant that they all bought a pre-colonial post-war douche and patted themselves on the back with it as they mocked her prenup. It’s GLORIOUS. Kelly Bishop deserves an Emmy but she is too good for the Emmys. She is queen. They kick her out, but it doesn’t matter because her bullshit ranting seemed to be her quitting anyway. Oh man. What a scene, and what a woman.
 
Back to wedding planning with Lorelai and Luke, and they are talking about their guest list. Luke says to add his friend Kiefer Sutherland, and Lorelai jokes, is it spelled like the real one? It turns out it is the real one, and it’s kind of a dumb joke. The only good thing about this joke is that SOMEHOW, someway, Rory’s role in this joke is the best comedic acting she has ever, ever done! She comes in, Lorelai explains the situation, and Rory shoots off, “’I’m federal agent Jack Bauer and this is the longest day of my life and my wife and mistress have the same face. And haircut.’ That one?!” and it is SPECTACULAR! Did they shoot these episodes in order? Because it seems like Alexis was saving all her good acting for Fall.
 
But we were never going to see Kiefer Sutherland, so does that mean we aren’t going to see the wedding? Luckily I don’t have much time to dwell on this subject or the dumb joke because MISS CELINE IS BACK! Wooo! I love Miss Celine! I wish I had a Miss Celine! I wonder what celebrity she would call me! I love that she calls Lorelai ‘Natalie Wood’ all the time. She decides Luke is ‘Eli Wallach’, which swells my heart because I loved Eli Wallach so, especially in “The Holiday”. I can’t think about how sad I am about him because Paul Anka Doggie So Cute That Wittle jumps on the couch and Lorelai puts a veil on him and it’s adorable and I squee and the neighbors grumble.
 
Rory is back in a weirdly lit office, and I guess (wrongly) that she is at a publishing house pitching her book. But of course she doesn’t need to do that because Jess will publish it! I didn’t even think of that until I was watching this episode, but of course when Jess suggested that she write this book, it was with the intention that his press would publish it and then they would have lots of babies. Well at least the first part. He is so her knight. So if she isn’t at a publishers, where is she? And the camera turns to reveal David Sutcliffe, Rory’s father Christopher, who has been busy these past 10 years drinking the blood of unicorns because he has not aged A DAY. In fact, he maybe looks younger. What in the worldddd. If there is a Team Chris at all in the fandom, they are so vindicated here because he looks insane (and Luke just looks like a normal). Gigi apparently is living life as a full Parisian; I’m glad they mention Rory’s sister. But this whole scene, besides looking awkward, feels and sounds awkward. Rory is incredibly icy and cold to her father, whom I’ve never considered a villain but who seems to be getting the villain treatment. Sitting at a big executive desk, wearing an expensive suit, and Rory is asking questions that cut to the core of their whole relationship. “How did you feel about Mom raising me alone?” she asks. Chris feels the same coldness we do and he’s like dammmn girl! He explains that it was Lorelai’s decision, and no one could have convinced her otherwise. Despite any regrets he might have about not being there for her, he thinks it was “exactly what was supposed to happen and I think she’d back me up on that.” It seems out of the blue for Rory to be asking such important questions about their relationship now. Kind of hurtful to Chris, but he does deserve to have these questions asked of him. It just feels so out of the blue, and Christopher (or at least David) deserves to have more in this revival.
 
Lorelai goes to her mother’s house and finds a for sale sign on the door. Oh my goodness!! I guess we could have expected this to happen, with all of Emily’s soul-searching, but oh it’s so sad to think of this house not being theirs anymore. But Emily’s significant character development in this revival brings her to move to Nantucket, where she feels content and perhaps happy. She tells Lorelai of the house in Nantucket, which she’s renaming The Sandcastle because the previous owners named it the Clam Shack – “I guess Vagina House was taken”, Emily said. Oh my god when this came out of Emily Gilmore’s mouth! Hahah! She’s finding herself and finally thinking for herself, and it’s lovely. Emily is the only character in the revival who has a positive arc. She has grown so much from Winter to Fall. And yeah, there are a few things that stick out as the product of poor writing, mostly courtesy of Daniel Palladino. For one, remember in Spring, at therapy, when Emily blamed Lorelai for a nasty letter she once received? We never get resolution on that issue. I’m really mad about that, because I want to know who wrote that letter. Trix? And then in Summer (or maybe Spring again), Emily is depressed in bed and sleeping till noon. That’s to be expected after her husband died, but it came in between showings of her being perfectly fine, so felt out of place and like any surrounding story on that matter was cut. But otherwise, Emily was given a fantastic storyline and it ends for her so beautifully. I love that Lorelai ends their story by needing to ask for money so she can expand the Dragonfly to the Old Folks Home. Emily, of course, offers the money on one condition – that Luke and Lorelai visit her in Nantucket three weeks of the year. Of course she attaches these strings, just like in the pilot. She always feels like she needs to guarantee a relationship with her in all gifts of money. Then she moves to Nantucket – with Berta and Berta’s whole family. I love how much she’s grown to care for this family. Berta has the best line – she’s sick and Emily says she will heat up some soup for her. Berta tries to stop her because whenever Emily tries to heat up soup she ruins the stove, but of course Emily still can’t understand what she’s saying. In the subtitles, we see Berta exclaim “How a grown woman can go through life without being able to heat something up is incredible.” So funny! But Emily’s personal journey is the real story. When she’s shown putting blankets over two little kids, my heart broke. And when she’s lacing up her Keds, I was so excited to see where they were taking her. Having a new job as a volunteer at the Whaling Museum that she visited earlier in the episode was so perfect. She’s so good at it. I didn’t need to hear all the details about killing whales, because this shit is disgusting and cruel, but I’m just so happy for Emily. And scaring children and making them cry is right up her alley.

Before the wedding, Rory goes to Doose’s to get last minute supplies, and runs into Dean, who is visiting his family. They’ve clearly kept in touch because Dean refers to his wife without calling her ‘my wife’ and his kids without saying ‘my kids are named…’ which I really am glad about. I was definitely Team Dean when the show aired. This scene was a pretty flawless interaction between these two. They clearly love each other and always will have strong feelings about their relationship. Rory’s admission of what she would say about him in the book – that as much as she wishes they met when she was older, if they hadn’t met when they did she wouldn’t be the person she was now – was heartwrenching, and was to Dean to, who was momentarily speechless and seemed about to cry. When he was walking out the door and Rory found a box of cornstarch and he called back ‘Pay for it this time’, I mean, if you didn’t weep then you are heartless. So lovely. Also Dean looks as good as Jess.
 
And then more weeping, because we cut to the Inn, in the kitchen full of gorgeous wedding cakes, and in unison with Lorelai we whisper “Sookie.” Sookie is back! Melissa McCarthy looks beautiful, p.s. She talks super fast and it’s so great and their catch up conversation is superb. Sookie shows Lorelai all the incredible cakes and says any of them can be the one she chooses. Um, why can’t she just have all of them at the wedding? Have all of them! Michel marches in and shouts, “You bitch!”, because someone has to tell her off for deserting them for two years! But really, all he wants is Sookie’s magic granola, which she brought, and which extinguishes his yelling immediately. I can’t believe this is the only scene we get of Melissa. Dammit! She’s so good. I so missed her and their banter. They have such great banter. And no one does crazy person freakout like Sookie. I loved that she started smelling the signature dishes of all the famous chefs that Lorelai brought in. “Is that abalone? YOU LET ROY CHOI IN HERE?” I needed more.
 
The next scene is more loveliness between Luke and Jess before Kirk barges in, freaking out that he destroyed their wedding decorations. It turns out that he could not have done what he did with a glitter gun and double stick tape and definitely not in two hours because he created a gorgeous Alice in Wonderland-themed, well, wonderland, and it’s perfection. But he doesn’t trust himself and is feeling sick with worry and wants to throw up in their bathroom. I love how Kirk, Lorelai, Rory, and even Jess all know that the downstairs bathroom tile is hard on the knees for throwing up. So random, so funny, especially that Jess knows that. Lorelai and Rory sit down to eat Pop-Tarts, and Lorelai returns the manuscript. But she didn’t read it. Instead, she decides to let Rory finish and and she’ll read it when it’s done. It’s very nice, but I groaned audibly when Lorelai says, “Just one note. Drop the ‘the’. Just ‘Gilmore Girls.’” Groaaaan. And then Rory repeats, “Gilmore Girls.” Groaaaan. Could have done without.
 
Jess goes to stay with Liz and TJ, and Luke asks whether he’s over Rory because they had a cute moment, and Jess says he’s long over her. But he looks back at her through the window and his face says he is cuh-learly not over her. I like to imagine he becomes her Luke. This revival was a successful advertisement for Team Jess, and a big slap in the face to Team Logan.
 
That night, as Lorelai and Luke discuss how nervous and excited they are for the wedding the next day, they decide to get married secretly before the actual wedding. They wake up Rory and they all depart to find Reverend Skinner. Before I could say awww about it being Revered Skinner…they start playing ‘Reflecting Light’, the song that Lorelai and Luke first dance to. This was too much. I almost needed their upstairs bathroom because the crying was convulsive. I cannot believe they played this song during their wedding. It’s too much! I’m crying again just remembering it. This will forever be a magical song to me because of this stupid show. Anyway, the three make their way to the Town Square, which is decorated as I said in the most magical way, with so many flowers and gorgeous lights and cute vintage furniture. Kirk, feeding a bottle to his pet pig, gets a text from Lorelai saying “It’s perfect”, and he smiles, and that was perfect! Such a nice moment for Kirk. As we see Rory lead Lorelai up to the gazebo, where Luke is waiting, they show Emily in her new house blowing a kiss to a new, normal-sized painting of Richard for just a moment before returning to the wedding. The heartbreaking juxtaposition of Lorelai about to marry the man she loves while her mother is saying goodbye to hers is also too much to handle but it’s stunningly well done. And then Lorelai and Luke get married, with all we hear being the continued song, which works so well. Emily is shown drinking wine on her new plan and smiling, looking content. Everything is perfect. This is the finale I wanted, I think that we all wanted. It’s exquisite, everything about this entire scene. Exquisite. I’m so happy but you would never guess because I am scream crying. 

A few hours later, as the sun comes up, Lorelai and Rory are sitting on the steps of the gazebo, where the revival started in Winter. They are decompressing after Wedding #1 (the real wedding hasn’t started yet) and Lorelai is telling Rory how she should get married and they can do married lady things together. I realize at this point that this has to be the last scene, so I am on red alert for The Final Four words. These 4 words have such a mythology attached to them, stronger than it deserves, because they are the 4 words Amy Sherman Palladino always wanted to end the show on. So, that means that this ending is what Amy would have done 9 years ago if she had still been running things. It is odd to think that the same thing would apply a decade on considering how the characters have changed and grown, so I assume that it is a basic exchange, like “See you Friday?” “Friday.” To mark their Friday Night Dinner tradition or something. Or something about needing coffee. I did NOT believe that it would be the ending that 90% of people guessed – that Rory would be telling Lorelai she’s pregnant. “Mom?” “Yeah?” “I’m pregnant.” It was a great scene, acting wise, and I loved how Rory’s voice caught on the last two. Lorelai’s shocked face was not a happy face, which is interesting to see. Probably because she knows that Logan, about to marry someone else, is the father. Ooofah.
 
Although at first I was somewhat disappointed that the most expected ending proved to be the real one, the more I think about it the more it had to happen. It makes everything come full circle, maybe in an overly pat and tidy way but even so, in a pretty lovely way. Also, as my bff’s woke af husband pointed out, the initially frustrating scene with Christopher makes so much more sense after we know the ending. That Chris scene was nigh infuriating in its icy treatment of him as a villain, when I’ve never seen him as anything close to a villain. Sure he is flawed and made some shitty decisions, but not more so than any other character, including the two Girls. I actually love Chris, and wanted to give him a hug in this scene when his daughter was treating him like a stranger (even though he was shitty, I know, I am being too kind). They were fine at the end of Season 7, and he and Lorelai parted amicably (and we saw their relationship moving on pretty nicely at Rory’s graduation party) so the ice made no sense. However, it all falls into place when you realize that Rory’s pointed questions about whether he thought Lorelai’s raising Rory alone was the right decision, were really her asking if she should include the father of her baby or if it was okay not to. And considering Chris and Logan are roughly the same exact person, it shows that Logan is the father (the only real other option was Wookie Nookie, right? And that was too long ago). I hope that when she tells Christopher her news, he realizes why she was treating him like a wealthy comic book villain; she was seeking advice in a vague and confusing way. I just want to make sure Christopher is okay can I give him a hug why does he look exactly the same?!
 
Aside from my surprise at this ending, Fall was everything I could ever want. It had Lorelai and Luke finally happy and getting married, it had a spectacular storyline for Emily and a great start to her new era in life, and so much good acting. All three of Rory’s ex boyfriends were given poignant scenes, really without any cause for complaint. Luke finally shared his feelings. Paul Anka was wearing a veil. Kirk was proud of himself. Sookie and Michel were wonderful. Emily said bullshit like eleven times. God I just…everything was perfect.
 
Well…
 
GRIPES
 
Um. No Liz and TJ. We got a whole Francie scene, FFS, we got a Chad Michael Murray body double, and we had a 20 minute musical, but no Liz and TJ? UNCLAP. This is not okay. This might be the worst part to me. Besides Daniel Palladino.
 
I really thought Amy would resolve the shittiness that was handed to Lane Kim in season 7, but nope. Nothing. She barely had any screen time, and what she had was stagnant, nothing new except her kids are older. Boo. Oh I’m so sad for Lane.
 
My only other real gripes are that so many important characters didn’t have enough screentime! Paris should have been in every episode, because Liza really is the most incredible actor on this show, or on most shows. I would have liked a lot more Christopher. And Lane, of course. And I’m very perturbed about the lack of Miss Patty. What is going on there? And of course Sookie. I hate that she only had one scene.
 
But overall, these are minor considering we just got six new hours of this great show. Even though I complain about it so much, it’s just because the characters feel like people in real life, and that’s what I do in real life. No just kidding (maybe). It’s because they feel so real that they are so important to me. I love the world they created so much, and even though some of the characters are terrible people, I still love them. We are so lucky that we got this ending, and that so much of it was so damn good. What a wonderful show, and as corny (and as crazy) as it may sound, what a wonderful part of our lives. 
 
ADDENDUM:
 
I just listened to the first Gilmore Guys recap of the revival and HOLY SHIT I DID NOT THINK ABOUT RORY BEING THE SURROGATE IMPREGNATED BY PARIS CARRYING HER MOTHER’S BABY AHAHAHAHA THIS IS NOW MY TRUTH. 

It’s Theatre Thursday y’all!!! Today we are talking about an insanely magical new show, the revival of “Once On This Island” at Broadway’s Circle in the Square Theatre, opening on December 3. 

​I like a lot of the shows I see, and sometimes I love them. Every once in a while (/every few weeks) I love love a show. But rarely am I struck with a realization that I’m getting to witness pure magic. I can remember a few times when I had such a moment, sort of an out-of-body momentary recognition that I am lucky to be in this audience, like I’m stepping back from watching the show itself and thinking oh man, am I here? It has nothing to do with whether I love love the show itself; I could just like the show but have this kind of detached awareness where I recognize that parts of it are flawless or beautiful or magical. In the past decade, I can remember this happening a few times. Once was during the big title number tap break in Sutton Foster’s “Anything Goes”. That’s like a ten-minute tap dance extravaganza and halfway through I was like oh my god this is still going on and it keeps getting better I can’t believe it. (It’s easy to understand why Jonanthan Groff was so equally obsessed that he learned all of Kathleen Marshall’s choreography (and imitated every one of Sutton’s vocal inflections.)) ​Next was when I saw “Hamilton” and Daveed Diggs rapped his “Guns & Ships”. This was before the album was recorded (OG right here) so no one had heard this before and I was like whaaaaat this is really happening in musical theatre erma erma! There were probably one or two other moments like that in the past few years, and the most recent, and most surprising, was during the new Broadway revival of “Once on this Island”. Surprising, because I had literally zero information about this show, and because the magic feeling lasted for pretty much the entire show. Not one song or one dance, but for the entire damn thing.

 The musical, which debuted on Broadway in 1990, is written by Ahrens & Flaherty (of “Anastasia” fame and “Ragtime” acclaim) and is based on a slightly older novel called “My Love, My Love” by Rosa Guy. I would have bet money that the source material was hundreds of years older, actually. It’s very folk-tale-handed-down-through-generations, and that’s how the story is presented. It tells the story of a black peasant girl on a segregated island who falls in love with a light-skinned boy from the other, more prosperous side of the island, who is one of the rich descendants of the original French conquerors. She in turn conquers her fears, the elements, and the gods that her fellow islanders pray to so fervently in order to be with him, despite their class differences and despite fate and the gods foretelling that it won’t end well. The power of love and its ability to conquer everything – well not everything, not death, but it does live on after death, we learn, in some form – is the main theme here, and not just romantic love but every incarnation and facet of love you can think of, and I forking loved every second. It’s not a perfect show – the tragic ending and kind of too-Little-Mermaidy plot is problematic if you look directly at it (like the sun) – but it’s a perfect production full of joy and life and MAGIC.
 
Going in, I didn’t know any of that. A few weeks ago, I went to the very first preview of the new revival on Broadway, which officially opens this Sunday. (I am not waiting to post my review until Sunday because a) I’m not a professional (that’s the hard and fast rule for professionals), b) it’s theatre Thursday y’all, and c) I’ve been made aware of the changes made in the past few weeks so I feel like the fact that I’ll share them when we talk about the relevant parts is enough. Also this is a rave. If I were blasting the thing maybe I’d wait to see a nonpreview. If you still have issues please buy me a ticket to see it again after Sunday and I’ll re-review it. you also need to buy airfare p.s.) All I knew going in was that Lea Salonga was in this production, and that Audra McDonald sang one song from it, “Come Down From The Tree”, on one of her early albums. That’s literally all I knew. I adore “Come Down From The Tree” and listened to it probably fifty billion times. Guess what, it’s not in the show; it was cut from the original production. That’s another thing I didn’t know. So I kept waiting for someone to start singing it, and that was disappointing (I’m still waitingggg), but that was the only disappointing thing about this production so we’re good. Also, the bright, gorgeous motif used in that song appears frequently throughout the show, like a gentle reassuring hug, and that made up for it. 
 
As soon as we took our seats, there was an air of joy and excitement, the kind that doesn’t happen in most other theatre experiences. It’s mostly due to the fact that it was the first preview and a lot of loved ones were there, but it was also because this show, at Circle in the Square Theatre, is performed in the round, so you can see everyone in the small audience (it’s like 6 rows all around, so small). It’s super intimate to share the experience like that and see the faces of the people you are going on this adventure with. Also, the lights were up and the cast was already in the middle, on the ‘stage’ – which was all sand, made over like a beach, with a little lagoon flowing out on one end. I was sitting above that lagoon, where Quentin Earle Darrington, dressed like King Triton, sat next to me during the entire preshow hubbub. On ‘stage’, the rest of the cast cleaned up debris and made comments about how we have to take care of the earth. Lea Salonga was dressed in khakis as a member of a Greenpeace crew or something, and she took a cell phone call and said something like ‘no phones!’ and threw the phone away. It was pretty cute to do before the show starts, as all the annoying latecomers filter in. Finally the cast started to get into place to begin the real show, and from the first few moments I was riveted. This score, how did I not know the score before? This was a huge blind spot in my knowledge of musical theatre, and while that’s shameful, it did let me experience this show in a special way that doesn’t happen often. Everything was new and exciting. Right away, the gorgeous music struck me with its joyfulness. It is lively and exuberant and you can feel the rhythm in your heart and soul. It’s magic.
 
The show starts with a little girl in the Antilles who is scared of a storm. The villagers tell her a story about another little girl in a storm, one of their stories that gets passed down generations. The storytellers describe how villagers like them on an island like theirs once suffered a terrible storm, in which only a little peasant girl survived. And as they tell the story, that framing device gives way to the story they’re telling, our main story. On this island, the people zealously prayed to the four gods: Agwe, god of water (Quentin Earle Darrington, and why he looked like a hot black King Triton), Asaka, mother of the earth (blindingly good Alex Newell, who played the trans character Unique on ‘Glee’), Erzulie, goddess of love (Lea Salonga in full loving and warm mode), and Papa Ge, demon of death (Merle Dandridge in a role usually played by men but didn’t you hear, men are over and she is incredibly frightening and powerful and amazing). The storm rages – here the lights flashed and the sound of winds filled the room and I fully believed this storm. But apparently now they have actual rain and wind happening – like soaking everything and so you can feel the wind – so it’s even more powerful. Sad to have missed that but I’m glad I didn’t get wet. So this super wet and windy storm kills everyone else in the village, but the little girl is saved by the gods and found in a tree by two villagers, Mama Euralie (lovely Kenita R. Miller) and Tonton Julian (Phillip Boykin, one of my faves), who adopt her (hence why their names are mom and dad). They know that if Agwe wanted to kill her too, she would be dead, so they know that the gods saved her for a reason. The new parents name her Ti Moune, which they tell her means someone special saved by the gods for a reason, pretty on the nose. Ti Moune asks what the reason is, and her mother says the best line, “If we knew why the gods did the things they do, we would be gods ourselves.” I loved this because it recognizes how cray gods are if they are doing any of this shit. The music had already started reverberating in my heart but when the little girl started growing up and playing and she ran into the lagoon and Haley Kilgore (the actress playing the teenage Ti  Moune) ran out, I was ALL IN. This was such a little bit of perfect simple direction that created this magical effect, kind of like everything in the show.
 
We meet our teenage Ti Moune with her big song “Waiting For Life”, and you could feel everyone in that audience wishing Haley well. This was this kid’s Broadway debut, carrying a show, and this was her moment to prove herself. And she did. I’m pretty sure everyone in the audience, including RuPaul (yes RuPaul was there erma), cried tears of happiness for her when she finished the song triumphantly. This is the kind of community that I love in the theatre. Aside from the two people across the aisle from me who wouldn’t stop talking and doing commentary like they were watching a movie in North Philly, we were all in this together and it felt like that good will and energy buoyed the actors even more.
 
This sense of theatrical joyousness remains throughout, but the upbeat story gets darker as we remember why the gods are watching Ti Moune –  as part of a bet to see which is stronger, love or death. To find out whether Erzulie (love) or Papa Ge (death) has the stronger power, Agwe (water) raises the tide so that a young pretty-much-white boy crashes his car so that Ti Moune finds him and nurses him back to health. The fast-driving car and the crash formed another bit of simple direction, using just light and the actors, that had a magical effect, so much so that the audience applauded. There are no expensive special effects used in these amazing moments, just brilliant coordination of the actors. I love it. Daniel is from the rich side of the island, part of the people that keep the black peasants down, so Ti Moune’s family and villagers just want to let him die, as that was clearly the gods’ wish, they argue. (It wasn’t, guys.) But Ti Moune falls in love with him because he so shiny, despite his being unconscious still. Papa Ge, terrifying with a costume literally made of knives, comes to her to take Daniel’s life, and Ti Moune begs the demon to spare him and to take her own life instead. Girl he’s not even AWAKE yet. A life is a life, so Papa Ge agrees to the exchange, leaving the two younguns and promising Ti Moune that she’ll be back later, as Ti Moune’s life now belongs to her. So like, it’s not a happy show really. Shit’s dark. But it’s so much fun to watch. And Merle is so badass I can’t get over it. Like I fully believed she had godlike powers the whole time and still do now. I’m so in awe and so terrified.
 
While Daniel recovers, Tonton Julian goes to the other side of the island to find Daniel’s family and tell them he’s okay, I mean I imagine, and to find out more about them. Julian comes back and tells his village what he learned about Daniel’s ancestors – in like a shadow puppet performance. It’s so cool; the ensemble stands being a white sheet and tells the story using their changing shadows. More amazing work, and so precise. The French aristocrat who colonized their island during Napoleon’s time had an affair with a black peasant girl, and they had a son named Beauxhomme (again so on the nose). Once grown, Beauxhomme helped the peasants win the war with the French colonizers, so his father cursed him and the island and all Beauxhomme’s descendants, now including the young Daniel, with their hearts yearning to return to France but never being able to, so they despise the peasants for reminding them of this or something racism is stupid. Regardless, Ti Moune won’t be stopped, and she leaves her family to go find Daniel in his hotel, where he lives, like Eloise. Ti Moune’s parents reluctantly let her go and that scene is so g-d moving it’s like Boykin my GOD what CAN’T you do.
 
On the long, hard journey, Ti Moune’s like, oh crap, how am I gonna eat and stuff while I walk for days or weeks or however long it takes to walk across an island? And Asaka, mother of the earth, appears with his banana and feather headdress and is like ‘girl I gotcha’. And then he blows the g-d roof off the theatre as he sings “Mama Will Provide”, as he like throws bananas and stuff at Ti Moune, I don’t know, I don’t remember the details I was just like WHO IS THIS MOTHER AND WHY IS SHE OTHERWORLDLY AMAZING. So it’s Alex Newell, and he is having a BALL out there with this song and it’s THE BEST. Hot damn he is talented. I can’t wait for the cast recording (please tell me there will be a cast recording) so I can set Alex’s “Mama” to play as my alarm clock so it gives me the strength and power to GREET THE GODDAMN DAY ERRR DAY WITH JOY AND GLEE GET IT BECAUSE HE WAS ON GLEE OH MY GOD HE IS AMAZING. I mean, what a Broadway debut for one thing, but I would for sure vote for him for a Tony for this performance. How cool would that be, to be nominated for this kind of sickmazing debut.
 
Anyway then the fun ends and Ti Moune finds Daniel in his room at the Plaza or whatever and they have lots of weird teenage sex and that couple across the aisle from me shouted things the entire time like GIRLL UH UHHH DON’T YOU DARE, girl noooo he’s not worth it, and I was like oh my god will you please be quiet, I’m trying to watch, which sounded pedo so I just let them keep talking. Lea Salonga sings her one big song, “Human Heart”, during all this, and Lea is the perfect embodiment of love and warmth and her voice is like a big fuzzy blanket. So so beautiful, you wish it wasn’t about teenagers doing what they’re doing but anyway. Of course, things are not that easy and that joy and love can’t last because CLASS and RACE and SHIT like that stands in the way. And also Daniel has a fiancée! Of course he does; everyone in his culture has arranged marriages based on status and money and they’re set up in order for families to acquire more status and money, didn’t you know that Ti Moune?? His fiancée is the gorgeous Alysha Deslorieux, the original Schuyler sister standby from “Hamilton”, who is kind of an evil mean girl but not really because she’s just trying to get through her life too guys, like everyone, and when she’s not wearing a Belle gown she’s in the ensemble showing everyone else how to wear jean shorts and you’re like damnnn that’s how you wear jean shorts when you have human thighs and it was the most inspiring part of this very inspirational show so much so that I actually bought jean shorts that weekend. Um anyway….Her existence just sucks for Ti Moune, who is heartbroken of course over the idiot Daniel who didn’t even know he was doing anything wrong because white guys, right. Daniel is a supremely unlikable character, as you can tell I’m sure, made somehow understandable and likable by Isaac Powell’s subtle, flawless performance. I mean you hate Daniel, you do, but you also can’t hate him for being born into this situation and being too privileged to realize what it means for others. PS THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO REAL LIFE, WHITE MEN; PRIVILEGE BLINDING YOU TO REALITY DOES NOT EXCUSE YOUR BULLSHIT.
 
Anyway then you’re like okay Ti Moune is heartbroken and OH YEAH, she promised her life to Papa Ge, I almost forgot, tell me that that demon doesn’t follow through on that? This theme of a girl’s sacrifice to let a boy be happy, and a black girl doing it for a white boy at that, doesn’t exactly hold up in our society, but it’s not meant to. No one involved in this production is presenting this idea literally as something to reflect outside the theatre, bozos. But it does portray the power of love and how much it can accomplish. Ti Moune’s transformation by the gods and her (its (spoiler)) power to build a path between the two classes of people and maybe to end the separation between them is a pretty good legacy to have. Ariel didn’t do any of that shit, she just turned into sea foam. Yeah that’s right, Disney lied, she didn’t go live in the castle with Eric and legs, she just turned into sea foam. Ti Moune, on the other hand, stood as a symbol of love and helped bridge the divide between peoples. And she didn’t have to wear a shell bra to accomplish that.

As her story ends, the framing device of the storytellers telling the story (that’s what they do that’s what they do) to the little girl returns, except now it’s in a village’s school and a BILLION little kids in navy school uniforms ran down all the aisles down to the stage as part of the classroom that just learned the story of Ti Moune. This was the one part of the entire show that threw me for a loop, in a not great way. I was too busy thinking ‘ahhh an army of children save yourselves save yourselves’ to really relish how this show came together. The kids were distracting and unnecessary, and having the one original little girl from the beginning learning how the folk tale ends would have accomplished the same goal, of showing how the stories are passed down so that new generations learn the tales and the lessons. Apparently, the creative team thought the same thing, because it turns out that all those kids have been axed now. Sorry poor little unemployed 7 year olds, go get a new job. No so it’s a smart move, but even with them and the confusion they caused I still was a mess at that ending because the storytellers showed the little girl little Ti Moune and Daniel dolls and I was just a basketcase when I noticed that because that’s just like how we all were with toys from our culture’s stories and then I cried even harder as the whole company sang about why they tell the story LOVE IS WHYYYY WE TELL THE STORY and so on ohmygod I need the recording now stat also I need to see this again and so do you the end goodbye.
 
INFORMATION
The show is one act, about 90 minutes (of pure freaking theatre magic) so pee beforehand. The Circle in the Square has the WORST little tiny lobby so just expect to be rammed in like sardines when you go to the box office at street level. And then get down the escalators to the basement/main area as fast as you can. 
The producers have implemented a ‘best price guarantee’ for this show, which is groundbreaking. It means that they’re guaranteeing that you can get the cheapest tickets from the box office directly. So cool. 
 
STAGEDOOR
The joy of the first performance remained at 110% after the show, as most of the audience waited outside the main doors for the entire cast, every single one, to come out to raucous cheers. It was so beautiful. They seemed to be having a blast too, making fun of each other for taking too long to sign and stuff like that. Everyone signed and most seemed happy to take selfies (not Lea, but she never seems happy to stage door, which is kind of understandable when every single time I’ve seen her there have been like a dozen people at stage door screaming at her for being their idol and how they came from the Philippines to see her and how they are owed a picture for that and she’s like ‘please don’t kill me’ so I get why she seems reluctant). It was so much fun, EXCEPT, except, the show has the MOST ANNOYING social media team. They were taking pictures and videos of us, the crowd waiting at stagedoor, and of course I was right up front so I tried my best to hide my face with a playbill but still that shit is just so annoying and rude come on guys if I wanted people to be taking my picture I’d be the one coming out of that door, know what I’m saying?