Hallmark Channel's new movie, "Garage Sale Mystery", is already poised to be the network's greatest achievement this century. It's about a woman (Lori Loughlin/Rebecca Donaldson/Aunt Becky Katsopolis) who is really good at antiquing and buying other people's crap when they throw this crap on the front lawns of their houses and expect passersby to pay them money in exchange for said crap, which the passersby then pick up with their hands and carry into their own houses. Or, what we Americans call 'garage sales'.
"As she gets closer to the truth, Jennifer learns that crime solving can be far more dangerous than any garage sale."
HAHAH. I mean, it doesn't really get any better than that. Because we all know garage sales are extreeeemely dangerous. That's what town curfews are really for - to stop people from the danger of meeting their neighbors and effectively digging through their trash. Gotta protect people's secrets, you know! I wonder if that's the message Hallmark has been going for all these years, with their impressive litany of made-for-mockery titles. Maybe all Hallmark movies form one sophisticated case for strengthened privacy laws.
"As she gets closer to the truth, Jennifer learns that crime solving can be far more dangerous than any garage sale."She's so happy and blurry
Anyway, I cannot wait to see this movie, and I'm sure you feel the same way. I hope it's good, for Aunt Becky's sake. Just look at how happy and optimistic she looks at left! But she doesn't even realize it's all gonna come crashing down. I have a feeling this film is going to epic. Stay tuned; we are totally going to live-blog this. Oh crap, it's airing on Yom Kippur. Ok, someone remind me to DVR this anti-Semitic piece of wonderment.