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Cherry Orange Cornmeal Cake, or How To Have Polenta All Day Son 

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    (Don’t call me son.) I know corn is evil because of GMOs and Monsanto and they’re all watching us through our webcams that we assume are turned off but never are &c. But, polenta is amazing and I can’t stop eating it, even if it will make me grow horns. No seriously. We’ve had it for regular meals (obviously), we’ve had it for breakfast, and now we’re having it for dessert in cake form. I’m sure you’ve all had polenta cake or cornmeal cake in your life but this is its first appearance on this section of this site so ya know happy new year.

​     Cornmeal is the same as dry polenta, so when you go to buy it, either works. Don’t get the prepackaged premade polenta that we would use in our fried breakfast. You want the flour-like grain for this. But don’t buy cornflour; in the UK that’s what they call cornstarch. There’s a lot to keep straight here. 
     You can use really any fruit you want here; any kind of berry would be great. I used cherries because I had to cut around the pits and stuff and I like to challenge myself. Also they are apparently supposed to be great help for painful lady cramps so ya know, if you make this it’s pretty much like taking medicine. 
     Did you hear Bill Cosby finally got arrested? Hooray for PA! I can see all of Pennsylvania! 

​CHERRY ORANGE POLENTA CAKE
Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups cornmeal
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 cup almond meal
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 2 tablespoons cornstarch
  • 1/3 cup canola oil
  • 1/3 cup white sugar
  • 1/4 cup brown sugar
  • 3/4 cup orange juice (first little bottle of orange juice I ever bought in London (they still have Tropicana))
  • 1/2 teaspoon lemon or orange extract (I only had lemon. If you have orange that’s probably better considering what we’re making here)
  • 8-10 cherries, pitted and cut up. If you picked a different fruit I’ma make you guess how much of it you need. Hope you enjoy your cramps.

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350F.
  2. Mix the dry ingredients (but not the sugars) in a bowl.
  3. Mix the wet ingredients (including the sugars) in a different bowl. I do it all in a big measuring cup because I’d rather dirty something I’m already using.
  4. Combine the two bowls until just mixed. Pour into an 8-inch circle pan, or really whatever kind of shape you want. That’s freedom. That’s what we fought for.
  5. Bake for about 18 minutes. You don’t want shit to burn.
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Angelica…
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Eliza!
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and cherry
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my food photography brings all the boys to the yard
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they’re like it’s better than yours
 It’s turned out really yummy! Especially for something I didn’t test. Yeah, so the whole spontaneous vibe about this section of the blog usually works out (my shit’s delicious), but sometimes I see where testing could improve things. I loved the taste here, but it was super crumbly. It’s not a problem at all if you make a custard or eat it with ice cream, the liquid of which can help to hold it together or at the very least can help you focus on how lucky you are to be eating vegan ice cream instead of thinking about crumbly cake you ungrateful ogre. But when I make it next, I think I would add a few tablespoons of Aquafaba. And I’m going to suggest that you add it to yours too. Holy crap I just told my husband “I think next time I’ll add Aquafaba to see if it helps bind it” and he LITERALLY just said, “What the f*& why would you voluntarily eat something called Aquafaba? It sounds like a poison from ancient civilizations. Or like a witchcraft-generated medicine. A medieval crone would have been like ‘Here, take some Aquafaba to cure you of your black humours!'” He really said this. 

ENJOY!

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