I despise carrots. I have no idea why, but starting maybe 5 years ago, I started to think that carrots taste like people. [ . . . ] I realize this makes little to no sense, and I've been laughed out of a number of cocktail party conversations by bringing this bizarre personal, uh, quirk to light, but hey, I swear to you: If people were a thing that people ate, I like, am 99.8907% certain the dish would be a little carrot-y tasting. I know it's weird, but I tend to avoid carrots in all forms, and am particularly frightened of them in their cooked form, so uh, it's weird that I decided to make this recipe, as there are cooked carrots. BONUS: you really can't taste them.
Call me Edward Cullen, but I actually hate garlic, too. I know, I know, you're probably thinking, "Cara, how could you study abroad in Italy and hate garlic?" or the more common, "Cara, how can you possibly enjoy good food if you hate garlic?" but here's my stock response: whatever you love about garlic, I guarantee I can create with a nice mix of sweet onions, shallots, and fresh spring onions. (Seriously guys, garlic is icky. It tastes like burnt. And it makes me breathe fire. Can't we just move on from this? Call it a fad (of the past million centuries)? Bring on some more varieties of onions? Eh?) [BUT I LOVE FIREBREATHING.]
- 1 large head of cauliflower
- 1 tablespoon coconut oil
- 1 medium onion, diced
- 2 large carrots, diced
- 1 tbsp of jarred SHALLOTS
- 1 bunch of diced spring onions
- 3 cups water
- 1 teaspoon sea salt
- 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
- 1/2 cup coconut milk (unsweetened)
- Wash and core the cauliflower. Although Cara did not core her cauliflower, because she had no idea what that meant. It did not affect the turnout.
- Heat a large pot over medium-high heat and add the oil, then add the onions, carrots, and onion-y deliciousness that is standing in for garlic. Cook and stir with a wooden spoon about five minutes, until they’re soft and golden. I did not use a wooden spoon, and, still, the soup came out delicious.
- Add the cauliflower and cook until it starts to brown. Please note, seriously the cauliflower isn’t going to BROWN really, it’s cauliflower. Just don’t burn it. I trust you will know when it’s time to add the water. You’re not dumb.
- Add the water and bring to a boil. Then reduce to a simmer, and cover, and cook until the vegetables are tender, about 30 minutes.
- Add in coconut milk, sea salt, and pepper.
- Puree soup in a high speed blender or with an immersion blender.
Yay Vegans. Yay soup. YAY! [yay!]