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Veganizing "Friends": CANDY LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9/20/2013

12 Comments

 
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PictureYES CANDY LADY!!!
      YES CANDY LADY!!! Folks, we've come to the point in this veganization of "Friends" journey when we get to celebrate one of the greatest things Monica ever made, yet remember that she acted kind of annoyingly in this episode. Maybe I just have no patience for rude people, but I always wanted her to show some moxie and punch her neighbors. Anyway! Enough violence, now onto the candy! 
       Remember the episode aptly named "The One With All The Candy"? Yeah you do! Monica thought that she should really get to know her other neighbors, not just the other Friends across the hall. She decided that making homemade candy and putting it in a basket outside her door would do the trick. At first, it works like a charm...but then the neighbors get quite boorish, and near abusive. Refresh your memory:

    It's totally worth watching the whole video, isn't it? You also get to see (at 0:40) my favorite Ross line of the whole episode: "Mine stole my newspaper; it's like a crime wave!" He's such a nerd. Anyway, as you saw, the building residents have absolutely no sense of social decency and could really use a punch in the face. But...maybe our little Harmonica's candy was really so good and so addictive that, without it, the neighbors experienced drug withdrawal. Our task today is thus to make THE GREATEST candy that could turn otherwise nice, well-behaved citizens into DEMONIC BARBARIANS. Let's doooo it! 
PictureOne pecan-pretzel cluster, pre-fridge
      Last week, when I made "that wonderful nutty cakey pie thing", I had such good feedback from its eaters that I figured I should incorporate some of the same delicious components here. The candied pecan caramel was a hit, so we're making that again. Then, we're also going to melt chocolate with Speculoos. We'll increase the awesomeness with some crumbled flat pretzels, and mix it all together for a crunchy kind of Speculoos-pecan-caramel-chocolate turtle! To quote Monica, I KNOW!!! 

PECAN CARAMEL!
Ingredients:
  • 8oz. raw/plain pecans, crushed
  • 1C vegan butter
  • 1C brown sugar
  • splash of almond milk
Directions:
  1. Put the butter, sugar, and milk in a saucepan. 
  2. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly, and lower to medium heat while stirring in the pecans.
  3. Cook on medium-low heat, stirring, for about 10 minutes
  4. Remove from heat and let cool for about 10 minutes. It should stiffen up.
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This may be my new favorite thing. When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeeeling saaaad...


SPECULOOS CHOCOLATE!
Ingredients:
  • 8 oz. chocolate
  • 1/2C Speculoos (or peanut butter!)
Directions:
  1. Melt!
  
    Extra fun: Gather some pretzels, preferably flat pretzels because they are the best, and while your caramel is cooling, dip your pretzels in the chocolate! (& lay on a baking sheet covered in parchment paper.) I started submerging the whole thing, but realized it's not only easier to do half but it also looks nicer! 
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The most delicious side project ever
    Do you feel like you don't have control over the volume of your voice anymore? Are you starting to act mean towards nice people? No? Let's keep going.
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TO ASSEMBLE:
  • Start by spooning a thin circle of chocolate onto the parchment paper-lined baking sheet. This will help the cluster stay together once cooled. 
  • Cover that circle with the pecan caramel
  • Top that with some crushed pretzels (the pieces in the picture are a bit big for this, but shown for effect, like on cereal boxes).
  • Cover the whole cluster with chocolate
  • Throw the baking sheet in the refrigerator for a few hours.

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Pre-refrigeration, when it's all melty, it's almost as good as post-refrigeration
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Finished product. I like how the chocolate layer on the bottom of that back one makes it look like a spaceship
    So, this is the best candy I've ever made. I think Monica would be proud! I hope my neighbors don't turn on me, though my mom already went into the fridge and ate the still-warm pieces. It's quite addictive. Try making it yourself, and play around with the add-ins! Also definitely on your to-do list? Watching this Joey gif over and over:
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Giveaway trivia:
  1. What was one nickname the gang had for a not-so-well-known neighbor?
  2. In Rachels’ b-story this episode, she wrote a very inappropriate review of Tag that accidentally went to human resources. What was Tag’s nickname in this review?
  3. Why does Phoebe get mad at Ross this episode?
12 Comments
vegan miam link
9/20/2013 05:20:08 am

I love candied pecans, especially in multi-colored salads. My partner hates pecans because of the texture, but I love them. That looks absolutely delicious! I want some!

Reply
GiGi link
9/20/2013 06:14:33 am

Wait, did you really make that scrumptious candy or did Monica?

Reply
avalon
9/20/2013 03:16:25 pm

I'm not sure about the first question, but the lady from under Joey's apt. is known as the lady that has "relations" very loud.

Tag Sweet cheeks Jones. According to Rachael, she loves his tooshy or however, you spell it

And Phoebe didn't like the fact that Ross was trying to show her how to ride the bike that he bought for her and he let go of her, while he was teaching her to ride. She asked him to swear not to let go and he did. I thought it was funny how everyone else in the park was looking at Ross. I couldn't imagine not being able to ride a bike...I ride mine several miles a day. Poor Phoebe. At least Ross was nice enough to buy her one bc she never had one as a child. I feel like Ross kinda got pooped on this episode.

Reply
Laughfrodisiac
9/23/2013 05:22:16 am

The lady having relations is my favorite! "Yes yes please just give it to me!" "yeahhh, that's her."

Reply
Hannah link
9/21/2013 03:07:27 am

Can I just say that I cannot believe I haven't been following your blog this *whole* time. I've really been enjoying myself going through all your recent TV related recipes. Genius and really inspiring!

Reply
Laughfrodisiac
9/23/2013 05:39:07 am

Thank you so much!

Reply
Mihl link
9/21/2013 04:02:29 am

Speculoos chocolate!!!

Reply
Bean
9/23/2013 03:02:55 am

I am honored to say that I had the profound pleasure of eating above candy, and I can attest that IT WAS GLORIOUS. GLORIOUS.

Reply
Lizzie
9/23/2013 04:14:29 am

Good lord, that looks amazing. I am definitely making that SOON.
"Candy lady!" always then leads me to "Cookie duuuuude!" when Ross was selling the Brown Bird cookies to all the stoners. ;)

I love all the nicknames in the show - like Ross' nicknames for his students - Smelly McBrown Shirt cracks me up every time. For this one, I LOVE "Guy With Mustache" - I don't know why, but that is just so damn funny to me.

And, of course, Rachel's nickname for Tag is "Sweet Cheeks." I love how he covers for her - "I'm unusually proud of my butt" or something like that. And the drawing - where Rachel is like, "you're looking at it upside down...you know what, doesn't matter." I can only imagine. lolol

And poor Ross trying to teach Phoebs to ride the bike - so adorable, and I love how she has the same feeling of betrayal that she would have had as a six-year-old when she realized her dad let go of the bike...Ross' response is another killer - "It's a legitimate learning technique!!"

Oh, you don't even know how much fun I am having remembering all my favorite moments and lines. Thank you again for doing this!!

Reply
Laughfrodisiac
9/23/2013 05:41:53 am

Nice! Yeah Ross has such golden nerdy lines. I usually am in agreement with him when he gets pounced on but he always digs himself into a bigger hole. So funny.

Reply
CupcakeKitteh link
9/23/2013 05:01:26 pm

Ok, I just said this on another comment but oh my goodness it's so weird to watch Courtney play Monica because some of her mannerisms are so Jules-like, esp. when she said "some people have been calling them little drops of heaven, but whatever!"

I am book marking your candy and will have to sub in pb for the speculoos!

Reply
aubrey
10/28/2013 02:09:24 pm

Nicknames of neighbors: smokes-a-lot lady and fire-beard Lol

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    I love to cook. Love it! 9 times out of 10 I'd rather cook my own meal than have someone else (especially a stranger! Stranger danger!) make it for me. However, I am not a chef, so my recipes usually are haphazard slapdash ragamuffin mixtures of ingredients. Proceed with caution.  

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