Valletta, Malta: I Didn’t See One Maltese Dog But It Was Still Nice
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The Train to Chengdu: THIS BETTER BE WORTH IT
Dear little baby laptop diary,
Today, August 9, is our third year anniversary! No not you I don’t even know you! Z and I got married three years ago today! Yay for us! Happy anniversary! Unfortunately, our meticulous schedule has us departing on a 26-hour train today,from Guilin (we had to get a car back there from Yangshuo for the station) to Chengdu. Not the most typical way to celebrate the occasion, but we are on an adventure. Because of this special day – but really because the last few trains have been abysmal experiences – we booked out the entire cabin for the first time. The ticket booker we used said they buy the other beds very often for people who want it to themselves, and they buy the other two beds as children’s tickets (so they cost less), for fake children. Or, as we were hysterical to see the agents refer to them as, “ghost children”. They book the kids’ tickets under fake names, so we were excited to see what fun Chinese names our fake children got.
Let’s hope this actually works and they don’t try to resell the two beds in here, because guess what guys, this train most resembles the last shitshow, to Guilin (when we 2 extra bodies (children) (not the ghost kind)), but it is EVEN WORSE. It’s like someone said, “Give me the oldest train carriages you have for this route and let me make it even shittier!” I know every single time I’m like, hey baby laptop, this train is EVEN WORSE than the last one, and the people reading are probably rolling their eyes like how is that possible, but somehow it really is the worst yet. Since that gorgeous St. Petey to Moscow special sleeper, we’ve gone slowly down the ladder of quality and cleanliness, with few exceptions on the straight slope down. I read my old diary entries on our early Russian Trans-Siberian trains and want to punch myself in the face for thinking that wasn’t the height of luxury and being such a brat about it. (We have to go back through Russia to enter Europe from the ‘stans later so I’m actually excited to sleep on a Russian train again. I KNOW.) Nothing in here has been cleaned since I don’t know the previous dynasty. The walls are stained to a brownish mix of age, dirt, and who knows what else; the sheets are stained and full of stranger hair; it reeks of smoke – which is usual, but it also reeks of something mixed with smoke. We can’t pinpoint the specific stench, but it is NOT PLEASANT. I believe it’s the smell you get when decades and decades of Chinese people sleep, live, and eat weird smelling food in tiny compartments that never get cleaned. It’s pretty bad. It’s also freezing – the air is on super high and we can’t control it – so we are shibbering, and icked out. I mean just look, even one of the nets on the wall has lost the will to live:
I can’t imagine what this would be like with other people in here and I hope I don’t have to.
Since we had to drive from Yangshuo back to Guilin to catch this 12:30pm ish train, we left at 9:30am ish today to begin our journey, and we are supposed to arrive in Chengdu at 2pm tomorrow. So, we needed an entire day’s worth of food for today plus half a day’s for tomorrow. I had a crapload of leftovers from dinner at Lotus Vegetarian in Yangshuo town last night, three containers actually! So I brought those to eat. Of course, takeout containers in China have been laughable, and the chinese food juice leaked all over the plastic bag it came in, the bigger plastic bag I thought would keep it ‘extra safe’, and my beloved reusable tote that I carried the food in. I have to wash that. So gross. Everything somehow smells like stinky tofu. This whole country smells like stinky tofu. Maybe it’s just stuck inside my nostrils.
I ate as much of the leftovers as I could (leftover noodles do not keep well) and was eager to throw the containers and the bags out asap. It had to go in the sink room, where the only decent sized garbage was. Sorrynotsorry.
At the station, I bought these taro cakes that looked decent, were super cheap, and, eureka, had English ingredients listed so they were accidentally vegan. Let’s compare the picture on the box with the actual product:
I just found a black hair under the pillow.
I really have to pee but I don’t want to unlock the door to our little safe place. Also, the toilets are disgusting. We are back to the kind that just empty clear out onto the tracks with a big hole you can actually see through. One of them is broken and stuck in the open position so you can just look through and see track the whole time. Fun times.
Z still feels like crap (we have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow! his turn to need one!), unfortunately, so while I can sort of act amused by all this, he is miserable and I feel terrible. It doesn’t help that I bought those taro things primarily because he loves taro. He will be so disappointed when he wakes up to learn that they are just cubes of baby powder. At least we have good fruit! I have a container of cut up cantaloupe – seriously, the cantaloupe in China is OFF THE CHARTS. I know usually it’s like the fruit added to fruit salads and trays that no one wants and you’re like eww get off my tray, but I’m obsessed here. It’s sooo good. I can’t get enough. I also bought a bunch of grapes outside the station so they are unwashed and I can’t wash them in train water so I didn’t reallllly think that one through (I can save for hotel at least), three very promising black plums (I love plums!), weird little fat short bananas that are actually good and maybe sturdier than the regular ones (not as much bruising!), two apples courtesy of Tea Cozy’s daily fruit supply, and a super fun treat for our anniversary, our absolute favorite thing we discovered in Burma – custard apples! I don’t know how we will manage to eat them unless we just save for hotel, but so fun.
Remember on the Russian trains when I complained about how they didn’t refill the soap dispenser for a while?? HAHAHAH I was so stupid! At least in Russia people use soap! I have yet to find a non-hotel bathroom in China – in ALL of China – that has soap. Just no one washes their hands after using the hole. No joke, in restaurants, malls, trains, stations, public toilets, museums, everywhere, I watch as people just rinse ONE hand in the water for a hot second and then shake it off onto everyone they pass as they exit. There is never soap ever. So disgusting. How is disease not more prevalent? Actually I don’t know the stats at all, maybe it is.
I’m drinking a random store-bought iced tea with zero sugar, barely any flavor, and no bubbles. I hope Chengdu has bubble tea near our hotel. We also have two 4-liter jugs of water for this 26 hour journey, plus two 1.5-liter bottles and the rest of my 2-liter bottle I started this morning. Plus two baby sized ones for brushing our teeth. So for drinking that is about 12 liters. Is that enough??
Ooh it’s raining outside! I like it, for some reason. It’s relaxing, to be inside while it’s raining out. Like hey this is a disgusting hole and we already smell of smoke and China’s national stench, stinky tofu, but at least we are inside.
Z’s getting tired of Chinese food, and I am a little bit too. It’s too bad that it’s hitting us now, when we are about to be in Sichuan province (land of our favorite kind of Chinese food! Super spicy Sichuan!), but it’s understandable given we’ve been here for almost 3 weeks. That’s a lot of Chinese food. Chengdu has a good deal of Western food apparently, and a great many HappyCow listings, so I’m excited. Also we changed our hostel booking to a very nice hotel as a treat for our anniversary and to balance out the trains and some of the prior accommodations and really just everything, and I hope it lives up to its billing and our expectations, but honestly after this train, anything could seem nice.
It’s so odd remembering the Russian trains, on the classic Trans-Siberian routes, where yes we were bunking with regular traveling Russians but the carriages were filled with other tourists. In China, this is not the case. Even on the Beijing to Shanghai train, we didn’t see any non-Chinese people! There is a group of white college-looking people on this train, but they are in platzkart (not called that anymore I know but it’s a good word), the open-bed-dorm style class, so everyone we see on our carriage is Chinese. That’s why everyone stares, they’re like ‘wtf are you doing out here, you know this isn’t meant for you to see, right, it’s very dirty’.
Damn it’s really raining hard now, maybe I don’t like it. I’m scared things are going to start leaking through the ceiling onto us, which would be sooo not fun.
When I get back to London, well we get back at night so I am going to shower and then sleep. Omg. My bed. But the next day, I’m going to hopefully welcome a Tesco delivery of groceries (I need to do that online several days before, I guess when we are in Poland! Someone remember to remind me!) and make a green smoothie with Vega powder omg I miss that so much. And then we are going to watch Netflix all day. And get vegan soft-serve at Yorica in Soho! Omg whyyy did I think of that I want that now. And we will get pizza delivered, Z from Pizza Union down the block (well I guess he’ll pick that up) and me from Basilico because they do vegan cheese. Or maybe by then someone else will have vegan cheese! What a world is happening out there!
I have to go tell someone to stop smoking in the hallway.
Ok no one is in the hallway or in the next room, which means the smokers in the carriage-connecting parts – the actually signed smoking section, if you can believe it – are next to the air vent and so it is getting circulated to all of us with the air conditioning. Cool. Cool cool cool cool. Oh wow it started hailing.
My eye is twitching! from stress?
I just had to find the boiling water station – no more having it in every carriage – and it was THROUGH THE OTHER END OF THE NEAREST PLATZKART CARRIAGE. Omg I have never been in platzkart before it is a zoo! First of all, the bunk beds are TRIPLE TIERED! Ah can you imagine having a top bunk that is actually third up? So crazy! And everyone is just standing around the open plan talking and eating and wow it is very loud. Thank goodness we are in rooms with doors, even if they provide more surface area for dirtiness.
An attendant just knocked and I let her in and she looked around and at the empty top bunks and I SCREAMED WE HAVE ALL FOUR and of course she didn’t understand my words but was FREAKED OUT from my tone and my volume and she ran away. Z said what the fuck you just terrified her! But I was so nervous that she was looking to put people in here that I burst nervously into shouting. Oops. But don’t even think about it lady!
Yay she didn’t she was just confused! We showed her the ghost childrens’ tickets and she got it. We are safe. Phew. I am so excited to shower and enjoy Chengdu. PANDAS! Good food! Hotel amenities! See you on the other side.
New Orleans Food Guide: If You’re Not Eating 24/7, You’re Doing It Wrong
When I was in sixth grade, we sang this ridiculous song in chorus about New Orleans. I don’t remember what it was called or who wrote it, but I remember the words because they were all about food, with the most fun-sounding, exotic-to-young-me names. For more than 15 years, I’ve remembered those words and stored them for whenever I finally got to New Orleans, so I would be sure to eat the proper dishes. The song went:
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Cause tonight I’m gonna see ma cher amio (pronounced ah-MY-oh)
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar, and be fine-o,
Son of a gun we’ll have big fun on the bayou.
Our first stop was 13 Bar, in the Marigny, which is the neighborhood just northeast of the French Quarter. This low-key joint would be one of my favorite local places if it was in Philly or London. It was so casual and had a nice vibe. More importantly, it had several vegan options on the menu, including totchos (tater tot nachos)! I of course ordered the tofu bahn mi because that’s my favorite sandwich in the world. It was so delicious! The tofu was spiced and pressed into perfect little dense squares, and it had a good amount of shredded carrots, jalapenos, and cilantro. I could always use more but this veggie showing was more impressive than most other purveyors. I would have added some shredded lettuce or even jicama to add just a little freshness (all the vegetables were warm from the grilling). The bread was a little too chewy but the fillings made up for it.
We also tried their red beans and rice, a New Orleans staple dish that quickly became one of my favorites and something I can’t wait to recreate. 13’s version was decent, creamy and comforting if a little bland. The service was fast, the bartender was nice, and they had a pretty clean bathroom. Win.
We didn’t get totchos, which in hindsight was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. |
We went to Coop’s, a famous old pub-ish place packed with locals, so husband could have their famous jambalaya, and we had our first fried shit of the week, the fried okra. Oh man. Fried okra might be my favorite fried thing ever! I don’t have pictures because Coop’s is dark and the people were kind of glaring at me?
On our second day, I patiently sat as my husband and his good friend who lives in NOLA ate supposedly the best fried chicken in the world. How good am I? What’s that, I deserve presents? Well I had a more than lovely reward afterwards, when they drove me to get my favorite type of food at Superfood Bar on Magazine Street.
I had some doubts about a place called Superfood Bar. I love things that profess to be super foods and raw and super healthy and what not, but I always wonder whether such a place would be too raw and too grassy even for me. But for the most part I loved my food!
It was a cute little spot that reminded me of Blossom du Jour in NYC, but with slightly better seating, cheaper prices, and a bathroom, praise the lord. I got a green smoothie of course, because I hadn’t had one for more than 24 hours and I wasn’t sure what would happen to me if I waited any longer. It was a decent smoothie, full of greens, but I asked to add some Grassy Green or some such powder that made it taste primarily of that. Not bad though! |
After I was sufficiently (insanely) fed at my new fave place Superfood Bar, we wandered around the area of Magazine Street, which is a somewhat more upscale and modern shopping area, at least the stretch we wandered. Just a few blocks down from Superfood Bar was Raw Revolution, which was also on my list for lunch. I can never thank the universe enough for making me choose Superfood Bar first, because, in contrast to the few things I could find online, Raw Revolution does not have food. It has a fridge of bottled juices, yes, and some ginger and lemon shots, and some packaged raw date balls (that were actually delicious, but made on Martha’s Vineyard?) and kale chips, but it doesn’t have food. It was mostly pills and products for cleanses (and not the good taco kind) and stuff like that. It was a disappointment. I don’t know how they pay the rent for the large, mostly wasted space, unless people in New Orleans like to spend a lot of money on diet pills and shite like that. (And then I bought a juice for later and it was over $10 and realized oh that’s how they pay the rent, gauging. It was a decent extremely green juice but dayum, this isn’t NYC.)
Our favorite thing to do is walk around new cities, so we walked maybe 45 minutes and were rewarded by the universe with this Mecca:
Then, because this trip was mostly about being gluttonous, we walked to the very famous and very old school Hansen’s Sno-Bliz, the greatest snow-cone-type concoction in the world. Listen, I’m from Philly, the land of waterice. I love all the old school waterice places all over the Philly area, but this place is different and ridiculously good. They pour their fancy syrups over the shaved ice, like snow cones, but then they put it in a machine that like poufs and fluffs the ice and then drops clouds of snowier ice on top. And the flavors are so much more subtle and elevated and fancy than traditional waterice.
MEALS FROM THE HEART CAFE
They also have Portobello sandwiches and other various vegan-friendly foods that I would love to try when I return. The extremely friendly manager/owner gave us fresh orange slices while we waited, and he talked about how his family started eating more vegan foods and solved tons of their health problems that they picked up from traditional New Orleans cuisine. Yay for people eating more vegan food, even if it’s for health reasons!
Oh man, one of our absolute favorites was Dreamy Weenies – or, as we refer to it because it’s better this way, Weiner Dreams. So, this popular hot dog place has 5 vegan dog options!! I wanted to try the falafel dog, but I always have falafel, so I got the vegan andouille. So crazy meat-like ahh! I got it ‘Genchili’ style, which is topped with house-made vegan chili and Creole mix (celery, onion, peppers). With ketchup and mustard on top it was very tasty. It was seriously outmatched, however, by the red beans & rice, which we got as a side. Oh my goodness, these were the best red beans & rice either of us had in New Orleans! So crazy! The person who took our order also said that all of the sides are vegan. Amazing! So, you definitely have to go here and get a fun dog but BE SURE to get the red beans & rice all the time. I wish I knew how good they were earlier in the week; Weiner Dreams was so close to the hotel, we could have had them for breakfast every day. They also had a navy bean pie on display that husband said was really good, so I will be making that soon.
One of the most fun food-related things in NOLA is the existence of Killer Po’ Boys. This centrally located Irish pub called Erin Rose has a little back room where a separate operation makes and sells fantastic po’ boys, the most famous food out of NOLA. I have tried to find out what makes a sandwich a po’ boy, and the only consensus is just the French bread, which seems super wrong.
Anyway, the best part? KPB always has a vegan option! I got a sweet potato & greens po’ boy, hot and melty from the grill and coated with a pecan spread. Holy crap this was so good! It was nearly falling apart, in the best way. Greasy from the grill and hot and perfect. I could have had two…maybe. It’s such a charming operation, just hashing out hot po’ boys!
Thank you LazySmurf for telling me that Breads on Oak was a must. It’s kind of out of the way, over where d.b.a. is, but oh my god, everything I had (and I had a lottttttt) was amazing. We stopped here on our way out of the city for the day (for plantation and bayou tours) so I stocked up, getting an entire day’s worth of food (wasn’t necessary but you never know?).
I had the Buckwheat Breakfast Sandwich first – it was gluten-free and tasted like it (very earthy because of the buckwheat) but I love that taste. The tofu filling was mild and stuffed with sprouts, the perfect breakfast item.
For lunch a few hours/minutes later, I had the Live Food Sandwich, which featured the most incredible, chewy sandwich bread stuffed with carrots, cucumber, avocado, and some kind of spread. Ugh it was so good! My favorite kind of food, fresh vegetables and good bread. |
THE GUMBO SHOP
Right in the heart of the French Quarter is a heavily trafficked, adorable little restaurant called The Gumbo Shop. Because of its prime location, you’d probably assume it doesn’t have anything for vegans, but you’d be wrong. Not only is Gumbo Z’Herbes – a traditional vegetarian gumbo often filled with cabbage, collards, beans, and fresh herbs – always on the menu, but they also always have a vegetarian special entrée! Note, the Gumbo Z’Herbes is on the menu as an appetizer (a cup of it), but I wanted it as my meal so I just asked for a bowl of it and it was no problem. It was absolutely delicious!
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After that, we will create dishes inspired by several items you see above — including that absolutely revolting but amazing sounding po’ boy!